June 29, 2006
Radiographer (Gets Scared Straight?)
“Some of you think radiography is going to save lives. You aren’t going to save any lives,” said the guest instructor.
A dramatic pause.
He let the gravity of this statement hang in the air. The only problem with this scenario was that none of the students really believed they were going to be saving any lives. Anyway, he kept going with this line of thought.
“Now I’ve read some of your statements of purpose. Thinking you’re going to be some sort of hero,” he continued.
Doesn’t he know that as students we will write anything to get into the program? If he didn’t agree with this “idealism” then why let these people into the program? Anyway, back to the speech…
“Now when you get to your first hospital you need to use your heads, people. I can see it now. You’re by the ER room. A couple comes in. They’re holding a baby and its bleeding and they ask you to hold the baby. And you want to be a hero. You want to go home to your girlfriend so you can brag about the great deeds you did today. So you grab the baby. And then the nurse comes and takes the baby from you. And then you go to wash your hands. And you’re washing for about a minute. But you don’t know the rules yet, so you only wash your hands for a minute, not five. And then you’re on lunch break in the cafeteria and you’re feeling good about yourself. You order some fried chicken. And you’re eating that chicken, and then you start licking your fingers. But you didn’t wash your hands good enough. And now all that blood that’s underneath your fingernails is going into your body. And then when the tests come back on the baby, you find out that the baby has AIDS.
And now you have AIDS.”
Another dramatic pause.
Talk about a nightmare scenario. Good thing I’m a vegan and a coward. The instructor then walks from behind the podium.
“What’s with these faces? Man, you people need to lighten up!”
It was hilarious. He builds this strawman argument that we all want to be heroes, so that he can shoot it down with all of us getting AIDS. Then, after he’s made his point (don’t eat fried chicken?, don’t help bleeding babies?) he accuses us of not having a sense of humor.
At first I was thrown off and not really sure what to make of this guy. Only later did I appreciate what was really going on. I’ve had to teach naive students before. I understand the frustration of dealing with lazy, clueless people. Even more so because I’m usually one of those people.
And even though I was part of the group that was receiving his muted tirade, I appreciated his excitement and willingness to verbally slap some people around.
He reminded me of a friend Mike who can be part comedian, part bully. So, I’ve met people like him before and genuinely enjoyed their company. He’s the instructor for next semester so clinicals should be lively.
But then later as I was going over old tests to study for the final, I had a ridiculous and macabre thought -
What if that story in the hospital wasn’t just a story? What if he was the kid who held the bloody baby, ate the fried chicken, and licked his bloody fingers clean…