Absence
Whose presence do I miss on this dull sublunary plane?
Rainer Werner Fassbinder, John Cassavetes, Richard Pryor. There are others.
I Humped Your Hummer
Diebold Security
Diebold’s voting machines are even less secure than previously suspected. Inspection of a Diebold machine by the open Voting Foundation revealed that all it takes to get a Diebold machine to boot a modified, crooked operating system is the flip of a switch, a task that can be accomplished in a brief moment using nothing but a screwdriver. Diebold has strenuously resisted calls for its voting machines to be fitted with paper audit-tapes that would record the votes cast for comparison against the electronic tally, and has used legal threats to keep critics from publishing memos detailing earlier flaws discovered in its machines. If you want to steal an election, use a Diebold machine.
Reason
“If I was your creator and you mocked me in this manner I couldn’t think of a hell hot enough for you.”
“I hope you die in a lake of fire and get your eyes pecked out by crows, so that you may go to hell and exist for eternity in a lake of fire getting your eyes pecked out by crows.”
“people like you are scum, I hope you die by the hands of some sick perverted guy who will skullfuck you and then use your skin to make lampshades.”
“Charles Darwin went insane when he was 28 anyways (didn’t know that did you?) Let me put it this way to you concerning your bologna flying spaghetti monster. If we are created in the image of what you believe God to be, we would look like spaghetti.”
On Nature versus Nurture
Regarding the question of whether my academic tendencies are nature or nurture (see comments here), I answer thus:
Nature.
Proof: In a typo ridden missive from my mother, she concluded questions of “ultimate significance” with the incredible pun, “Blame it on the Cosmos.”
Quod erat demonstrandum.
Orange Moose
Genesis Museum
“Americans just aren’t gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish,” he said.
Dear God
Please take my one dick and make it into five dicks so that my underwear will fit like a glove. Amen.
PostSecret
Greenpeace SUV Ad
The Invisible Woman
“What the Invisible Woman does is curve space around herself to bend light. What these devices would do is to mimic that curved space,” he said.
More Theological Humor and No Less Dirty in its own right.
MODERN WOMAN: Oh, Professor Oldteaser, I am profoundly disturbed about your class, Bible 101. You have destroyed my faith.
OLDTEASER: Good! Good! Sit down and tell me about it, Miss Awdy.
MODERN WOMAN: [Sobbing] I’ve begun to see that you are right. God died.
OLDTEASER: Yes. God is dead. That is what Nietzsche has taught us. He is the greatest prophet of the modern world. God is dead (Gott ist tot) — the German, you know. Theological language. It is very important to find the words relevant to our times. So many English words aren’t.
MODERN WOMAN: I see. I do admire the way you use all the languages, Western and Eastern. But [still sobbing], I think I’m losing my mind.
Art Trumps Verisimilitude
“Walter Cronkite said, you know, it was really ghostly-like. It was really what it should have been,” Lebar says. “If it was full-up resolution as standard television, nobody would have thought it was as great.”
A-Ron
“How do I turn my lifestyle into a business?”
Taking America Back for God?
He said he first became alarmed while visiting another megachurch’s worship service on a Fourth of July years ago. The service finished with the chorus singing “God Bless America” and a video of fighter jets flying over a hill silhouetted with crosses.
Se Eald Woruld Geap Webb
A great site on Old English with such goodies as fonts, parsing program and dictionaries.
I am strangely uncomfortable with this…
…but the morning has never been so orgasmic.
Religious men are still men.
Whenever I hear the word “perichoresis” in conversation I just can’t help but crack a lecherous half-grin.
Terrible, I know.
Human Health
New research from around the world has begun to reveal a picture of humans today that is so different from what it was in the past that scientists say they are startled. Over the past 100 years, says one researcher, Robert W. Fogel of the University of Chicago, humans in the industrialized world have undergone “a form of evolution that is unique not only to humankind, but unique among the 7,000 or so generations of humans who have ever inhabited the earth.”
Fugitive Pope
Why is the Pope upset? While washing dishes at a retreat for priests, he stumbled upon them watching a porno movie. What would make the Pope happy? If priests realized a clean soul is like a clean plate: You can see yourself in it. Failing this: Paper plates.
Fragment
we let what grows there
Elsewares
We’re a catalog of unique products from independent designers, artists, and entrepreneurs. We celebrate innovation, cottage industry, and well-made goods.
Peter Feldstein
“I don’t remember exactly why I finally went down to the studio that day, other than I think I felt it had become some sense of obligation because Peter was so persistent,” Hennes says. “I don’t think people could help but wonder what he was doing … or what was to be gained from it.”
Church of St. Pierre
It’s a creative dialogue between peers, as well as a gift from a student to his master. Le Corbusier’s gift to his pupil, one would like to believe, was to trust him with this legacy.
The Little Tailor
The little tailor, who was only pretending to be asleep, began to cry out in a clear voice, boy, make me the doublet and patch me the pantaloons, or I will rap the yard-measure over your ears. I smote seven at one blow. I killed two giants, I brought away one unicorn and caught a wild boar, and am I to fear those who are standing outside the room. When these men heard the tailor speaking thus, they were overcome by a great dread, and ran as if the wild huntsman were behind them, and none of them would venture anything further against him. So the little tailor was and remained a king to the end of his life.