December 13, 2006
Reciprocal Chit
I’m sure I’m not the first to suggest it, but here’s a holiday gift giving idea: the virtual gift certificate. I tell you where to go to spend $100 and you tell me where to go spend $100–and it’s entirely up to each person to go there (or not) and spend that much (or not). Then you tell each other what you bought (or lie about it in some elaborate way) and everybody is happy and a whole shitload of trees and gasoline and other things have been saved. Hell, I’ll be generous: Here’s a $1000 certificate to Arthur’s Fine Wines and Spirits for all Flockers. So where do I get to shop? I feel vast fictional adventures about to begin….
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Dude, I’m ready to give you a $1000 chit for the Rare Book Room at Booked Up in Archer City.
oh Daryl, I’m so with you on this! here’s $500, go to the Apple store.
But what am I supposed to do with this wooden pickle I carved for you?
btw, I bought a bunch of single malt scotches and then sampled wines from around the world.
Daryl, here’s a blank check from me to you and Cindy. Go find yourselves a tasteful, historic little tear-down you can replace with your very own Residence of Distinction.
Cindy: I hope you like fucking sandwiches.
Coop: Thanks! I just called them–they’re holding a signed first edition of Blood Meridian for me (well I had to also use some of my credit but it’s worth it).
Deron: Now I have all the colors. The blue one has the best sound.
Thanks Sheila! But we already live in a historic district. So if you don’t mind, I’ll just buy a swing set / three-story fort for the little one. We’ll put it in the Front yard and just see what everybody makes of that.
And here’s your certificate for an airline ticket to anyplace in the world you want to go (some restrictions apply: you have to leave within the next few minutes).
Thank you, Sheila. As you may know, there is a Spanish Colonial monstrosity just ouside of town that ruins the commercial viability of the area we like to call “home.” Thanks to the generosity of people like yourself, we will now be able to realize our dream of a strip mall that will serve the citizenry of Texas for years to come.
Daryl, I’m heading out the door right now.
You think I’ll have any trouble with security?
Well that spoils my plans to buy everyone the world’s coolest levitating gadget.
Instead I will donate all the certificates I recieve me to S.C.R.O.O.G.E. in your names.
Sheila: Only when you get to Iraq.