February 22, 2007


Finally, Official Instructions

bowelmovement.jpg

comments

20 Responses to “Finally, Official Instructions”

  1. Aaron Winslow on February 23rd, 2007 at 7:06 am

    At which steps does one begin and then cease weeping?

  2. Brian Beatty on February 23rd, 2007 at 8:31 am

    I, for one, am grateful for the instructions.

    I can’t count how many times I’ve been told I’m full of shit.

    Well, no longer!

    (I’m here all week.)

    Also, is it me, or is it the foot rest where most of us fail?

  3. Cindy Scroggins on February 23rd, 2007 at 9:49 am

    Damn! All these years, I’ve been using the foot rest as a booster chair. This explains a lot.

  4. dennis on February 24th, 2007 at 11:20 am

    That’s great and all, but I’m stuck at “how to wipe”. Help!

  5. David Gibb on February 24th, 2007 at 11:37 am

    Correct me if I am wrong, but aren’t those the crapping directions for anyone living below the equator?

  6. Dave Vogt on February 24th, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    I got to step four and I thought “I’m already doing all of that!” Then I realized that there isn’t a step four.

    I need to run out and get a fancy labeled foot rest like that one.

  7. Tydirium on February 24th, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    Actually, that posture isn’t quite enough. As reported quite a few years ago on PoopReport (quite SFW, don’t worry), the human body is designed for squatting, not sitting. While raising your legs on a stool is good, it’s still putting strain on your body. If you’re interested in pooping for a healthy tomorrow, follow the link above…

  8. Mark on February 24th, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    I’ve always been at loss… I could never crap effectivly. Now with this guide, my life is saved. It should be federally mandated to be placed in all public restrooms.

  9. David Gibb on February 24th, 2007 at 7:05 pm

    Correct me if I am wrong, but aren’t those the crapping instructions if you live below the equator?

  10. AO on February 25th, 2007 at 10:15 am

    Heavens no, Mr. David Gibb. These were the instructions those above the equator took back with them after colonization.

  11. Dave on February 25th, 2007 at 10:45 am

    Arvid Ek patented a toilet in 1922 that allowed one to both squat and raise the feet. Don’t know why it didn’t catch on.

  12. David Gibb on February 25th, 2007 at 2:34 pm

    Correct me if I am wrong, but aren’t those the crapping instructions if you live below the equator?

    I have seen the Arvid Ek toilet in China.

  13. Ryan on February 26th, 2007 at 4:05 am

    The postition of the arm is perfect for reading the paper. Is this good toilet practice?

  14. Brady on February 26th, 2007 at 7:06 am

    I feel its more accurate to say that I have seen non-’arvid ek’ toilets in China. The Arvids are everywhere, although the big cities are succumbing to toilets of the west – what have we done to those billion people.

  15. julian on February 26th, 2007 at 7:28 am

    Ha – I’m not sure I need to – or in fact – can buldge out my abdomen any further. Useful information though – I’ll try it after lunch ;) – tnx for the linkTydirium

  16. Joseph on March 2nd, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Can a gimp be substituted for the footstool if you don’t happen to have a footstool handy?

  17. BUSH IZZZBASTARD on March 2nd, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    I was having difficulties because I’d forgotten how to take a dump. Thanks for the help. Caca. Poopoo. Dumpy. Grunties. Bush Is A Bastard.

  18. marcos on March 4th, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    Arvid Ek patented a toilet in 1922 that allowed one to both squat and raise the feet. Don’t know why it didn’t catch on.

    At the same time? Sounds uncomfortable. Was this for zero gravity environments?

  19. Sheila Ryan on March 4th, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    Oh, people. Are you such recalcitrant (or unregenerate — or simply necessary and/or habitual urbanites) that you’ve yet to realize that it simply feels better to squat and ’shit in the woods’ (or desert . . . or what-have-you)?

  20. Como colocarse para defecar correctamente WTF | Have a nice Takeawayblog dot com on June 3rd, 2008 at 2:27 pm

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