February 2, 2007
Language is a Virus
On the way home from a party in college Wayne and I came across this guy standing on the access road yelling into the window of a 70s era Buick to his buddy that it was safe to back it up.
The car had two flat tires, deflated all the way to the rim, on one side of the car. The access ramp was one of those curved ones that winds around itself then heads onto the freeway.
The man in the middle of the access ramp was stumbling, slurring, his friend trying to back the car, unsuccessfully, into the potential line of traffic.
You could hear the rims on the concrete.
Wayne pulled over and asked if they needed any help.
“No, dude, we’re fine,” the guy said. “We just live a little ways down the road.”
I leaned my head out and said, “Your tires are flat. You better come with us before the cops get here.”
It was the first time he had even seen them.
Once they piled in the back of Wayne’s CRX, we were on our way. If I remember correctly, it was the outer loop of San Antonio’s highway system.
“Jesus’ tits, Tony. I told you, when you’re shrooming, stay between the lines.”
“Shrooming? Shit. Shrooming, smoking, drinking, what am I supposed to do?”
Suddenly aware of our presence one guy said, “Dudes, ‘presh the ride.”
I looked at Wayne.
He mouthed,”Appreciate.”
About twenty minutes later we finally arrived at the apartment they said had been just down the road. They thanked us and stumbled out of the back of the hatch on the way to their apartment.
We never saw those dudes again, but Jesus’ tits, those were good times.
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17 Responses to “Language is a Virus”
Two phrases come to mind that have great historical significance:
1. That is cheating:
We (my friends in high school) used to play so many different games: card, video, board, etc. That the gaming language infected our speach, hence one might say “that brownie was cheating.”
Ridiculous, no?
The other is speaking in double negatives…constantly. Sometimes I find myself, to this day, speaking that way. It is no wonder I receive so many odd looks.
Jesus Tits, Andrew, I didn’t never know that brownie was cheating.
Totally book, dude.
oh shit. What have we started?
Andrew, that’s cheating; don’t you mean, what haven’t we not started?
“‘presh the ride”?
that is so not untrue, Deron.
maybe it should be preesh?
I’m not getting your meaning. I love the way it sounds though, which is why I asked. I want to start using it. A while ago, I was really into Sifl & Olly and also vigorously peppering my speech with “crescent fresh”. “Presh” sounds similar although I can’t get what it might mean… Perhaps we can invent something? We can make it so book.
I owe my presence here today among the Flock to my steadfast adherence to the dictum: “When you’re shrooming, stay between the lines.”
(Shrooming, smoking, drinking, what was I supposed to do?)
Mary, I knew that you and my friend Alison and I would make a great pu pu trio. Additional proof: Liam Lynch is a good friend of hers.
Sheila, let’s presh the ride over for some pu pu real soon.
Mary, your presh-ence will be welcome. Your prescience. Appreciated. Yeah.
oh, sorry, Mary. ‘presh or ‘preesh was short for appreciate. hence, preesh the ride, dude.
Preesh my ride.
oh right. It’s right there in your story. I guess I sort of fell in love with “presh” as a new viral word.
jesus tits.
tony.