February 3, 2007
STAR #1 SUPER-MORAL
Time: Circa 1980
Place: Madison, Wisconsin. A supermarket.
The woman standing ahead of me had the look down so cold it was chilling. Braniff stewardess, 1966. The Pucci print tunic, the hairstyle — even the make-up was perfect.
She swiveled her head and smiled at me briefly, then raised a white vinyl purse as she prepared to pay the cashier. On the purse in perfect block letters formed of quarter-inch strips of electrical tape: the legend “STAR #1 SUPER-MORAL”.
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do you ever consider walking around with a video camera?
I can’t say that I do. In fact, when I imagine doing so, it feels kind of predatory — more so than sketching or scribbling, somehow.
I do know that I loathe being photographed or filmed under circumstances over which I don’t exercise a good deal of control, so maybe my hesitation over photographing or filming other folks stems from this.
“Star #1 Super-Moral” might well have been eager to be photographed or filmed, though. She seemed like a refugee from Warhol’s Factory or maybe John Waters’s Dreamland crew.
John Waters on the filming of Mondo Trasho: “Back then I didn’t know you had to have location scouts. In the film’s last scene, when Divine is in a pigsty, dying in pig shit, I never asked the farmer if we could shoot there. I don’t even know if anyone was home. We just pulled over, jumped out, shot the scene, and ran.”
I love the Waters’ anecdote!
Yeah, kind of what you might call a drive-by shooting, eh? He-hyeh, he-hyeh, he-hyeh.
I love virtually all John Waters anecdotes. I love John Waters. He’s one of my heroes.
What’s not to love? Especially the moustache.
Indeed. The moustache. I especially love the look as featured on the forthcoming compilation CD A Date with John Waters. (Release ‘date’: February 6.)
I take it that’s another item you’re considering accepting for your birthday?
I’m reviewing my options – SR.
I think that woman now lives in one of the suburbs of Dallas.
My impression of her (both then and now) was of a person stuck in time in a way that was half-knowing (in on the joke) and half-insane (the butt of the joke), who went through periods of getting religion and repenting the deeds of her youth. Kind of like Little Richard, come to think of it.
Maybe she now proselytizes on behalf of the “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” people.
Time: Fall, 1974, Sunday Morning, Coming Down
Place: Carbondale, Illinois
I’m walking across newly laid blacktop towards a new Piggly Wiggly in a gray, gray, gray morning just to get some cream for my coffee when I hear a familiar four-note tootle. Suddenly a giant hot dog pulls up in front of the supermarket and goes duh-duh-DUH-duh. A hatch opens and a midget dressed in a butcher’s blouse and hat comes out, waves to me, and goes inside the supermarket. I immediately turn around and go home.
Moral: The weird will have its way.
I could also tell you about the time when my ex-wife and I went into the Sentry and encountered Elsie and Beauregard, live and on the hoof. Oh, I guess that is the story.