May 31, 2007
Book-A-Minute Classics
I love the great classic works of literature—when I can find time to read them! Some of those books have pages filled with words and they just go on and on without pictures to give some relief. Here’s a no-frills site that offers concise, condensed versions of all your favorites. The layout is kind of ugly, but the content will help you catch up on the most significant books published in the last several hundred years.
And there’s a separate page for sci-fi/fantasy…
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14 Responses to “Book-A-Minute Classics”
oh, Michael, we love you so much,
the rest of us.
I love clusterflock so much it hurts right here.
“(The Evil Puritanical Society SNUBS Hester Prynne.) . . .
(They call her NAMES.) . . .
(They won’t let her play any Evil Puritanical Society GAMES.)”
Holy crap! this post is amazing.
Some people are plagiarizing their own book reports. Typical.
———-
The Collected Work of Jane Austen
By Jane Austen
Ultra-Condensed by Christina Carlson and Peter da Silva
Female Lead
I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know.
Male Lead
I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know.
(They find out.)
THE END
———-
The Collected Work of Anne McCaffrey
Ultra-Condensed by Christina Carlson
Female Lead
I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know.
Male Lead
I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know.
(They find out.)
THE END
But these are too long. Let’s shorten them up a bit as a kind of value-added feature. Here’s Moby Dick:
Fuck me!
Daryl, I thought that was what Billy Budd was about.
bartleby: feh.
The shorter Jane Austen:
Surely I’ll never marry you!
The shorter Anne McCaffrey:
Even my dragon knows I secretly love you!
The shorter Great Expectations:
Well, that was all a waste of time, wasn’t it?
Crime and Punishment: You can run, but you can’t hide.
The Metamorphosis:
…what?
The Old Man and the Sea:
“Great, you landed your own skeleton.”
The Great Gatsby:
sup
(none of these as good as yours, India; you are the winner)
The plagiarized thanks:
Oh, my goodness, I won! I won! I’ve never won anything. Thank you, Daryl! I’m, like, soooo blessed.
Or, the shorter, plagiarized, Southern high school girl thanks:
Y’all? Thanks?
Yes, India scores bigtime.
(I also like Deron’s take on “Bartleby”. Kinda like the dude just says, “Nunh-unh.”)
And India scores double-plus bigtime with “Y’all? Thanks?
Y’all know India? I’m thinkin’, like, she should, like, enter a pageant? ‘Cause y’all know how she can always say something smart, you know, and, like, she’s real poised and all, y’all?