Comments on: Book-A-Minute Classics

By: Sheila Ryan

Sheila Ryan — Thu, 31 May 2007 23:33:33 +0000

And India scores double-plus bigtime with “Y’all? Thanks?

Y’all know India? I’m thinkin’, like, she should, like, enter a pageant? ‘Cause y’all know how she can always say something smart, you know, and, like, she’s real poised and all, y’all?

By: Sheila Ryan

Sheila Ryan — Thu, 31 May 2007 23:27:09 +0000

Yes, India scores bigtime.

(I also like Deron’s take on “Bartleby”. Kinda like the dude just says, “Nunh-unh.”)

By: India

India — Thu, 31 May 2007 23:26:23 +0000

The plagiarized thanks:

Oh, my goodness, I won! I won! I’ve never won anything. Thank you, Daryl! I’m, like, soooo blessed.

Or, the shorter, plagiarized, Southern high school girl thanks:

Y’all? Thanks?

By: Daryl Scroggins

Daryl Scroggins — Thu, 31 May 2007 23:15:38 +0000

The Metamorphosis:

…what?

The Old Man and the Sea:

“Great, you landed your own skeleton.”

The Great Gatsby:

sup

(none of these as good as yours, India; you are the winner)

By: Sheila Ryan

Sheila Ryan — Thu, 31 May 2007 22:54:39 +0000

Crime and Punishment: You can run, but you can’t hide.

By: India

India — Thu, 31 May 2007 21:06:15 +0000

The shorter Jane Austen:

Surely I’ll never marry you!

The shorter Anne McCaffrey:

Even my dragon knows I secretly love you!

The shorter Great Expectations:

Well, that was all a waste of time, wasn’t it?

By: Deron Bauman

Deron Bauman — Thu, 31 May 2007 20:48:47 +0000

bartleby: feh.

By: Andrew Simone

Andrew Simone — Thu, 31 May 2007 20:38:59 +0000

Daryl, I thought that was what Billy Budd was about.

By: Daryl Scroggins

Daryl Scroggins — Thu, 31 May 2007 20:26:48 +0000

But these are too long. Let’s shorten them up a bit as a kind of value-added feature. Here’s Moby Dick:

Fuck me!

By: India

India — Thu, 31 May 2007 19:55:46 +0000

Some people are plagiarizing their own book reports. Typical.

———-

The Collected Work of Jane Austen
By Jane Austen
Ultra-Condensed by Christina Carlson and Peter da Silva

Female Lead

I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know.

Male Lead

I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know.

(They find out.)

THE END

———-

The Collected Work of Anne McCaffrey
Ultra-Condensed by Christina Carlson

Female Lead

I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know.

Male Lead

I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know.

(They find out.)

THE END