May 4, 2007
Hot Shower vs. Cold Shower (A Completely Unscientific Experiment)
I always used to take a blistering hot shower in the morning, that is until I was indirectly persuaded against doing so by my anatomy instructor, aka “Dr. Peanut”. He told a story of an old geezer who lived a long life because of his belief in taking cold showers every morning…
I had heard of this cold shower theory. Another person, a psychiatrist I think, told people they should take cold showers in the morning, exercise often, and take fish oil supplements.
Well, I tried this theory. Things were working well. I could get by with about an hour less sleep each night because I was practically electrocuting myself in the morning with freezing showers. It definitely got the day going, much better than coffee ever could. I actually started to perceive “the day” in a more positive manner. My “chi” had improved, I was told. Life was beginning to seem different in a good way, which seems odd to say but it was true.
But, there were a few drawbacks. My back began to tighten. I missed the hot water to kind of loosen things up. And shaving in the morning became a real pain in the ass. Before with the hot water shower, I could get by shaving with a dull razer. (And who wants to spend anymore $ on razers, hell no.) Shaving in the sink seemed like a crude compromise.
An added bonus for hot showering was what it does to one’s skin, and perhaps this is a function of getting a good shave in the morning. From my calculations, I looked 2.73 years younger when hot showering. Yet, and here’s where the floor gives in, the hot shower put a damper on the day. It was like the life had been sucked out of me. Sure, on one of those days I was hung over and fell victim to listening to the minor key noodlings of an old Dinosaur Jr. album, but overall things were reverting to some sort of college-era funk, with lots of staring out library windows and things like that. Perhaps I could just blame this on J. Mascis and be done with it, as well as more tightly control what albums get played on the itunes random shuffle, but something was wrong. What’s the point of looking 2.73 years younger when you’re having flashbacks to an adolescent malaise? I suppose one must take the good with the bad. And what more appropriate way to characterize youth?
So, my study is obviously flawed. Unlike the NBA referee study, it won’t be peer reviewed. I pass this along as only “anecdotal”. Nonetheless, there was something to the cold shower theory. It seemed like it was working.
I think I’ll return to it.
comments
Have you considered perhaps combining shaving with steaming yourself, then moving on to flagellation followed by a dive into a mound of shaved ice?
Well, there was some discussion of cold showers in the morning and hot showers at night, but nothing that accurately depicts that scenario. Being a scientist is difficult, lots of controlling factors.
But let me turn this around – from the fear I detect in the tone of your words, is it safe to safe you are AFRAID of the cold shower? I admit its complete madness and goes against apple pie, and I’ll be accused of drinking my own urine in a few years time (not true, not going to happen), but its like when Dirty Harry had to confront the Sergeant after blowing up a city block. At a certain point, its all about getting results, no?
Oh, yes. At a certain point it is about getting results — and I’ve certainly reached that point! But I’ve compromised by starting my showers on the warm side of hot, then winding up with no more than a minute of cool concluding in cold.
And I was thinking that maybe you are braver than me (or more devoted to scientific inquiry), hence might be more willing to test the contention that “FIFTY THOUSAND SWEDES CAN’T BE WRONG”.
I’m googling that last sentence right now.
Oops. I meant ‘million’ — not ‘thousand’. As in “Fifty Million Frenchmen“. Except not Frenchmen but Swedes — you know, sweating over hot rocks, then a little birch-rod action, then a roll in a snow mound.
Start making sense, Sheila.
I’m third in line every morning behind my wife and son. We have a single bathroom, a crappy well, a crappy pump, a crappy hot water heater, and a crappy schedule. I have not had a hot shower since 2003. I would turn you, your family, and your pets over to the secret police for twenty minutes of hot water.
You say that now, but what about when you serotonin level mysteriously starts dropping? I’m not saying, I’m just saying…
My serotonin level is great. Perfect. All of my physiological functions are completely normal. Normal, I tell you. That suggestion makes me angry. The next time someone mentions my serotonin level I am going to smash my computer into tiny pieces and then set the pieces on fire and then pound the ashes with a 16 oz. roofing hammer and then pee on the ashes and then make a paste out of it and then rub it all over my body so that I look like some kind of computer-wearing aborigine and then I will take a nice HOT shower. There is nothing wrong with my serotonin today or any other day so just BACK OFF.
Man, where was I when this blog was getting to be all excellent and shit?
“I am going to smash my computer into tiny pieces and then set the pieces on fire and then pound the ashes with a 16 oz. roofing hammer and then pee on the ashes and then make a paste out of it…”
HULK SMASH!
Michael, you need to start writing movie reviews with Neil Cumpston.
What I really want is a bath. But I can’t have one because I’m so offended by the moldy grout around the lovely seafoam tiles surrounding our bathtub. Daryl has promised for two years to get it re-grouted. Has it happened? Well, what do you think? I could have regrouted it myself by now, but noooooo, he promises to get it done, since he’s the one who’s home a lot and could easily schedule someone to come out. Why, come to think of it, Daryl could even do it himself, couldn’t he, being a man and all–don’t all men have that butt crack gene that allows them to work with things like spackle and grout?
P.S. to Michael: I would like some of that paste. If you have any left over, please sell me a jar.
As a scientist, I’m concerned we have steered too far from the initial goal of the study.
For example, this computer-pee paste. What is the pH of the pee? So many questions…
Cindy: You said “spackle”. As in: “like a dog eating spackle“.
Mark: You see what happens when you try to get a bunch of artsy-fartsy types to apply the scientific method?
(Me, I’m still wondering why your anatomy professor is “Dr. Peanut”. Did he invent hydrogenated peanut butter?)
I think Dr. Peanut has something to do with pee paste.
Dr. “Peanut” actually has nothing officially to do with the peanut. However, he calls anything and everything a peanut. I don’t know why. He’s French-African. Perhaps the answer lies in his childhood.
However, another teacher, Dr. Davis (brother of Ossie Davis) did meet George Washington Carver as a child, for whatever that’s worth.
And lastly, and I know this will come as a shock, I am no scientist!
Wonder whether it’s possible to substitute pee paste (or even computer-pee paste) for grout (or spackle)? It might make for an interesting experiment.
The inventor of instant mashed potatoes once met George Washington Carver!?!
Mark, I know you’re studying all that radiology stuff and all, but do you think you could squeeze in an oral history project? (I hope somebody does — or has!)
Cindy, I think that clinking sound was my heart falling out on the floor and breaking.
Daryl, get your woman some grout! Please!
Here is an article about William Davis:
link
Perhaps an oral history would be a good idea. From peanuts to potatoes.
I had a different idea I was going to pitch to my editor – brothers of celebrities who live in SA. The list was Ossie Davis’ brother, Steve Martin’s brother (a dentist), and then, I think, Andy Roddick’s brother (chiropractor).
Options, options…
Thank you, India. I knew you’d understand.
done painted that grout twicet….
“done painted that grout twicet….”
Well, now, Daryl, don’t you know that’s just whitewarshing something nasty? Like in Heart of Darkness when Marlowe speaks of Brussels as a “whited sepulchre” on account of the Belgian Congo?
(Not that I’m likening y’all’s shower/tub set-up to the Belgian Congo . . . )
Well I have made some progress: I actually bought the little Dremmel Tool bit that is made for grinding grout out from between the tiles without breaking them. Bought it a while back. A Dremmel Tool is shaped kind of like a cucumber.
You’ve got a Dremmel . . . and that’s a start.
Daryl: Don’t use the Dremel while in the shower because you could risk electrocution–regardless of whether the water is hot or cold, although a cordless Dremel would be relatively safe. A cucumber would be safer in any showering scenario, plus there is the possibility of a meaningful long-term relationship.
Mark: I’m glad you’re not a scientist. For safety’s sake, scientific methods should be taken out of the hands of scientists and be used exclusively by experienced bloggers and no one else.
All: My pee paste is not for sale at any price. Make your own.
forget the shaving and the cold showers will make sense. hot showers are for old men who have no other expectations left. In time you will learn the true meaning of hot showers. the cold shower will stimulate a dense beard and you will be able to filter those who like beards from those who do not like them. this is helpful when sorting barbarians from humans. clue: barbarians tend to be dazzled by the unnatural.
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