July 6, 2007
China Public Restroom Has 1,000 Stalls
“We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV,” said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or “Foreigners Street,” tourist area where the bathroom is located. “After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy.”
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When I was in Hong Kong in 2005, I glanced at a local newspaper while waiting for an elevator. An editorial article complained bitterly about uncouth “northern peasants” who came to the Big City and defecated in public drinking fountains because they did not know better.
I suppose where and how you poop defines social status and marks your position in the cultural food chain. Every society has its hillbillies.
“My name is Michael Grant Smith. I wash myself with a rag on a stick!”
I was at a conference in Vancouver a few years ago, held at the civic center that’s located on the dock where cruise ships come in and out (obviously, I’m not up on nauticalspeak). Anyway, I was in the public restroom when a ship docked. A horde of what appeared to be Japanese women came rushing into the restroom and commenced to bang on my stall door. Two of them even stuck their heads under the opening! This is not the kind of environment that lends itself to a pleasant poop.
I, for one, would love to visit a 1,000 stall restroom. I’d have to try every one of them.
Wow. I think I would instantly start to search for the mirrored walls to my right and left. An Infinite regress of toilets! That whole arrangement sort of nixes the location for those murder-in-the-restroom scenes, doesn’t it. Got cha! No? Got cha! No? Got cha! No? ….
I started to say “Television! Well, if that don’t take the…” Then I remembered my one of my favorite restaurants (Houston’s)recently installed little plasmas above the urinals. I once stood pretending to pee while I watched an entire segment on msnbc. No wonder they need 1,000 stalls, they have to allow for folks just sittin’ and watchin’.