July 26, 2007
Karl Rove and Lou Pearlman Are Same Person, Dual Identity Exposed
Following last week’s apprehension of banking and recording industry icon Lou Pearlman, evidence uncovered in the fugitive’s hotel room in Bali reveals him to be the alter ego of White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove. FBI sources familiar with the investigation cited folders of volatile Republican Party playbook notes, letters printed on White House stationary addressed to recording industry executives, and a copy of the “I Got a Crush on Obama” video on DVD with a crudely pasted picture of Pearlman/Rove superimposed over the junior Democratic Senator from Illinois.
The hefty music mogul/political strategist made millions in the entertainment and banking business, while at the same time demonstrating a remarkable yet evil genius as a slippery political operative and tactician. Although his alleged improprieties committed while serving in the Bush administration have up until now gone without punishment, an unnamed Justice Department spokesman asserted that charges related to Pearlman/Rove’s banking scams would stick “if there are any U.S. Attorneys left to take the case. We’d like to get him for creating The Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync, too.”
When questioned by reporters about a wider conspiracy, Pearlman/Rove scoffed at suggestions that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales had any involvement with banking improprieties or singing group promotion, remarking angrily, “He’s a hell of a good little dancer, but if that jackass could sing he’d be a hit with Congress. I know what audiences want.”
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2 Responses to “Karl Rove and Lou Pearlman Are Same Person, Dual Identity Exposed”
Michael, you’re a genius.
Deron, you are too kind and generous.
To loosely quote Paul Dinello (Strangers with Candy, Wigfield):
“I’m not lying to you, I’m telling the truth I make up in my head.”