July 14, 2007

Mine look like dog food.

Mine look like dog food.

Having been introduced to Bake and Shake: I Will Frost You Like a Motherfucker by India, I decided to try my hand at some hot as balls savory herb, black pepper and parmesan shortbread.

However, mine looked nothing like the picture on the Web site, and, in fact, looked like dog food. They were just OK. Meh. :-/

Or, more evidence that me + cooking = a bad idea.

comments

  1. India on July 15th, 2007 at 12:19 am

    Hmmm. Are we going to have a Clustercookalong?

  2. Amy Mabli on July 15th, 2007 at 8:37 am

    They sound like they would be delicious. Looks aren’t everything.

  3. Sheila Ryan on July 15th, 2007 at 10:53 am

    Daniel, I don’t believe that you + cooking is a bad idea. Truly.

    I think that the crumbliness of shortbread — a defining characteristic, together with all that butter — may have defeated you in that you were trying to make something that corrals inherent crumbliness (memo to self: hang on to that phrase) into small, discrete forms.

    Here’s a thought. Try again with something that allows you loads of wiggle room — like a crisp. If Kyle wrinkles his nose at peaches, try another variety of crisp. Berries — or plums! A crisp by nature is kind of a mess, being no more than fruit topped with a butter-sugar-flour mix and baked. Just don’t overmix your topping to the consistency of Play-Doh; it should hang together but not be all gluey. “Wet sand” is one description I recall (I forget the source) of the right consistency. It works for me.

    Does Kyle like plums? You could make a plum crisp, though not with a maple cream sauce. Vanilla ice cream is almost always nice atop crisps!

    Oh, and don’t get too upset when your dishes don’t resemble a photograph that accompanies a recipe. Few do.

  4. L. on July 15th, 2007 at 2:55 pm

    Daniel, Hi!

    I’m Lo, and I’m so sorry that the recipe didn’t work out for you, seriously, I feel bad. Just looking at them, the bottoms seem a bit darker, and if you were to make them again I would suggest chilling them for a full hour, and lowering your oven temp to 325? Your oven may bake hotter than normal (or my oven may bake colder). It bums me out that they didn’t work out for you, but thank you for trying them and linking to the site.

    I would totally eat your dog food.

  5. Sheila Ryan on July 15th, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    There, Daniel! Like I said, help truly is available 24/7!

  6. Sheila Ryan on July 15th, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    Me, I’m all hot to make Lo’s berry crisps.

  7. Daryl Scroggins on July 15th, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    All this talk about food reminded me of this Russell Edson prose poem/flash fiction.

  8. Daryl Scroggins on July 15th, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    Here’s another one by Ben Marcus. It’s just amazing.

  9. India on July 15th, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    This was the first recipe I saw on Lo’s site, the one that instantly told me that she does not play around.

    And then this.

    But I was thinking that this would be the first recipe of hers that I make, because I have cherries, and almonds.

    Now, though, it’ll probably be the shortbread things. Even burnt or whatever, they look good to me.

  10. Daniel Lestarjette on July 15th, 2007 at 4:29 pm

    India: We should have a Clustercookalong, LOL!

    Amy: Yes, they look good, and probably are to die for when prepared by someone who knows what they’re doing in the kitchen. I am simply a cook hack. Mine were tasty, but I think they could have been better.

    Sheila: I think I’m going to make the peach thing and eat it all by myself. Actually, I’ll get my neighbor to make it for me and give her some, LOL!

    Actually, mixed berries sounds like a really good idea.

    Lo: I just sent you an email. Don’t feel bad for me, LOL–some people are good at cooking, and some people (like me) are better at eating! :-)

    Daryl: I’ll read those in a little while. Right now, I’m starving! :-)

  11. Sheila Ryan on July 15th, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Sheila: I think I’m going to make the peach thing and eat it all by myself. Actually, I’ll get my neighbor to make it for me and give her some, LOL!

    That’s the ticket, Daniel (as my grandmother used to say)!

    Both of the courses of action you propose are good.

    Hell, Kyle might be inspired to want peaches.

  12. Sheila Ryan on July 16th, 2007 at 8:28 am

    It’s the funniest thing. I’d been meditating on coconut cake for a couple of weeks, and then India goes and posts a link to Lo’s long post with Cake at the end, which turns out to be s splendiferous coconut cake. Lo, indeed! (The long post is a most excellent read, as well.)

    But I’m going to wait a couple of months before I bake that cake. A southern Illinois summer − central A/C + use of the oven = collapse from heat prostration, quite possibly preceded by a dramatic fit. Better to wait till I’m up north once again. (This will happen. I swear. And I’ll beat the Three Sisters in their mad dash for Moscow.)