August 30, 2007
Karl Rove Gets Bad Wrap, Stuffed Like Bratwurst
Karl is a cut-up
Washington, D.C. — Departing White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove was found in the Rose Garden early Wednesday evening, the apparent victim of a going-away prank. The long-time Bush advisor and unemployed evil genius was reported to have been lying on the lawn again, this time stripped naked and wrapped completely in Saran Wrap. When freed from his shiny confinement, witnesses report the outgoing Presidential henchman jumped up and remarked, “Did they touch my Jaguar? That thing is leased!”
Academics and professional Executive Branch staff-watchers note that zany hi-jinks and shenanigans have been a White House tradition dating back to the days of President George Washington, who modern historians now believe was elected due to the high recognition factor he gained from being portrayed on quarters and one-dollar bills.
Recent examples of high-spirited Oval Office “punking” include playing the hand-in-warm-water trick on a sleeping H.R. Haldeman, using a potato to plug the tailpipe on Howard Baker’s Ford Crown Victoria, and shaving all of Donald Regan’s body hair. Snipe hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney is also a time-proven recipe for hilarity.
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6 Responses to “Karl Rove Gets Bad Wrap, Stuffed Like Bratwurst”
I am offended by your negative portrayal of a Saran Wrapped naked body lying on the lawn again. Wake up and smell the coffee, Smith. Saran Wrap and lawns are what make this country great!
I’m not sure where you are reading any negativity, Cindy, except for the part where the man was lying again. I am not aware of a media bias against either Saran Wrap or lawns. As a journalist, my job is to report or make up the news, not slant it.
Commie!
Bourgeoisie!
Dan Rather lite!
Ouch.