September 17, 2007


O.J Simpson Charged: Stealing Naked President Bush Pics

OJ_Simpson.jpg
O.J. during happier times

Las Vegas, NV — Former NFL star, actor, media whore, and probable murderer O.J. Simpson made news headlines again last week, following his arrest on charges he had robbed two memorabilia collectors at gunpoint. According to an unremarkably-named police source, Mr. Simpson and four associates, all armed, entered a guest room at the Palace Station Hotel & Casino and confiscated various collectibles, including nude photographs of President George W. Bush.

“I only took back what was mine,” said an unrepentant Simpson. “It’s not even about selling stuff on eBay to raise cash — it’s about recovering items from my own personal collection. Those images of Dubya are hot, hot, hot!”


A recent flood of sexy nude celebrity photographs has swept the Internet, as well as generating brisk commerce on various online auction houses and collectors’ sites. The public’s appetite for scandalous, revealing images has hit an all-time high, indicating an unprecedented level of vapid, pathetic voyeurism. Recent examples of popular juicy snapshots include those of teen actress Vanessa Hudgens, Virgin Group founder Sir Richard Branson, and former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan.

President Bush’s spicy photos were allegedly snapped during his tour of duty with the Texas Air National Guard, and reportedly feature provocative poses including one with the future President wearing an aviator’s helmet, goggles, a scarf, and little else.

Incoming White House Press Secretary Dana Perino was quick to downplay the possibility of saucy Presidential images, telling reporters:

“Look, I’m not going to confirm or deny the existence of those incredibly hot pictures. Their rumored existence and hotness has nothing to do with our incredibly hot President’s ability to lead our country through these troubled times.”

posted by Michael Grant Smith in comedy, crime, entertainment, government, humor, news, politics, pop culture, satire 

comments

3 Responses to “O.J Simpson Charged: Stealing Naked President Bush Pics”

  1. Deron Bauman on September 17th, 2007 at 11:30 am

    can you link to the Greenspan pictures?

  2. Michael Grant Smith on September 17th, 2007 at 11:45 am

    Sorry, their server crashed.

  3. Deron Bauman on September 17th, 2007 at 11:49 am

    perhaps we can host them on clusterflock.

    (oh, to have stronger photoshop skills.)