December 18, 2007
smithismyrealname.com
Dayton, OH — In yet another cynical move calculated to exploit the “Internet” fad, a new online news, commentary, analysis, and delusion site has been announced: smithismyrealname.com. This latest misinformation destination was launched last week, and in its short life has had absolutely no effect on the public’s perception of current events.
“My goals are simple, yet elegantly subtle,” smithismyrealname.com’s founder and editor Michael Grant Smith remarked in a press release Sunday. “The so-called ‘experts’ say that blogging has peaked as a social and information medium. My new site’s sole purpose is to enable me to cash in while I can, and ride that declining trend in flames until it crashes and explodes onto the fertile, rolling farm fields of southwestern Ohio.”
So-called “expert” Axel Behring of the Red Bank, New Jersey-based private think tank The Think Tank expressed a pessimistic opinion of Smith’s venture, and urged prospective readers to approach the new site cautiously.
“This guy is so full of crap,” said Mr. Behring, “a big crap pile sitting right next to him would feel extremely inferior and not so very big after all.”
Other preliminary reviews were not as complimentary. Comments rumbling through car pools and grocery store checkout lines included “nauseatingly narcissistic”, “almost actionably obtuse and inaccurate”, and “a pathetically desperate cry for attention from a morally, intellectually, and ethically bankrupt hollowed-out shell of a human being”.
Making an attempt to convince readers of his personal integrity and adherence to high journalistic standards, Smith also promised to never insert gratuitous and cheap, easy search-engine keywords into his articles, such as “George W. Bush”, “Britney Spears”, “Hannah Montana”, or “Hot Britney Spears On Hannah Montana Action”.
For more disinformation, please visit smithismyrealname.com.
comments
that is some kick ass goodness right there is what it is.
“almost actionably obtuse and inaccurate” . . . it’s the almost that elevates this phrase to the level of genius.
Y’all are very nice. Genius. Har har. But thanks.