January 20, 2008
Clusterflock Band Names
Meat Truck Carnies
The Y’alls
Dingleberry Dykes
I Like Monkeys
The Misplaced Apostrophes
Donkey Love
Over The Drumset
Monitor Spew
Better Not Mention Dawkins
It’s Satire, Asshole
Thanks For Stopping By
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20 Responses to “Clusterflock Band Names”
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Just thought of another one:
Killing Squirrels
Those are fantastic, Cindy, every one of them.
Let’s just keep breaking up the band and using new names until we make it through the whole list.
Imagine the profits from all the merchandising! New T-shirts, all the time. I’m talking tens of dollars here. A lot of George Washingtons.
Those are the best ever, Cindy.
If Monitor Spew needs a chick singer, know that my repertoire is not limited to the Kinks’ “Alcohol”. I have also performed ABBA’s “SOS”.
Toxic Megacolon.
The Y’alls, please. Can I tenor with the doo-wop girls?
The Big Boy Shoes
The So Blessed
Spew on Something
Cooper’s Trip
Cooper: Mostly I think I am not nearly hip and cool enough for Clusterflock.
Sheila: You are beyond hip and cool.
“Cooper’s Trip . . . Beyond Hip and Cool”
If we ever do get around to forming a band, this will ensure that we’ll fight over the name and break up before ever having to perform in public.
What a relief.
From my own personal life experience I give you:
The Common Components of a Band Break-up:
1) Keyboard geek insists on ELO, ELP, Moody Blues, Journey, two thirds of the stage, and 3.5 hours to load-in.
2) Randy drummer. Not his name: his disposition. They are all randy.
3) Whoever owns the van [probably also has a day-job].
4) Whoever owns the PA [probably also has a day-job, might not own a van].
5) Rhythm guitar player’s “originals”.
6) Girlfriend/Manger. [Got one? Kiss the band goodbye.]
7) Somebody finds Jesus [won't be the drummer or the rhythm guitar player's girlfriend].
Guitar tech falls in love with lead guitar player’s wife.
9) Lead guitar player falls in love with financially stable blonde shoulder-to-cry-on who understands the betrayal he suffered at the hands of guitar tech and former wife.
10) Band decision that recording original music is superior to playing cover tunes for an audience [which forces keyboard geek to resign], and general agreement that all women, drummers, and guitar techs are whores.
Now that things are cleared -up, any thoughts on who’s who in the Clusterflock band?
I’m the whore.
I decline any offer to play rhythm guitar — because I own enough basement cassettes and CDs featuring “rhythm guitar player’s ‘originals’ ” and I don’t want to turn into that guy.
I’d like to put in my request for bass player. Even though I can’t play bass (any more than rhythm) guitar, I have always admired Norma-Jean Wofford, known to fans of Bo Diddley as The Duchess. To play a (Gretsch?) bass tethered to a tight, spirally cord while you shimmy in pointy-toe heels and a skin-tight spangly evening gown . . . well, I could die with a smile on my face.
Update: I’m a damn fool. See: I Stand Accused . . . of an addled memory.
“I’m with the band.” (Deron Bauman)
Sheila, More from my personal experience…[yawn]…usually the bass player is the guy who owns the PA.
Oh, I’m definitely the drummer. I think we all knew that one.
Randy Scroggins.
Or is it Randi Scroggins?
Why is my bass buried in the mix?
If I wanted to be on time, I’d have a real job.
I didn’t really fuck her; I was wearing a condom.
Why should the production crew make more money than us? We do all the work.
I’m just doing this while I shop my originals to some record companies.
Why does a soundman only say “one, two”? Because on three, you lift.
You guys are nothing without me. I am the band.
We don’t care if it sounds good, as long as it’s loud.
I won’t quit until you fire me.
You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here! If you ain’t fuckin’ the band or fuckin’ the help, it’s time to leave!
Get your shit and get out.
ahhh….
good times.
Looks like we have all the elements in place, then. Whose garage can we use?
And I want to be known by my stage name, Randy Norway.
testing, 1-2-3