January 9, 2008
Sen. John McCain Angered By Win, Would Rather Strangle Foes
Sometimes in politics you have feelings that are hard to talk about
Concord, NH — Senator John McCain (R-AZ) acknowledged his New Hampshire Republican primary election triumph by warning rivals that victory was not enough. Although other candidates have run campaigns founded on “new ideas” or “change”, the senior Senator from Arizona renewed his commitment to a “platform of crankiness”.
“I will admit winning here in The Granite State feels okay,” Senator McCain said in an acceptance speech to about five hundred enthusiastic supporters in Concord, “but punching the beejeezus out of my opponents, or maybe choking them, would be even better.”