February 26, 2008
clusterflock get-together
Cindy and I have been talking about planning a clusterflock get-together. I have joked about winning the lottery and inviting everyone to my parents’ farm in central north Texas. This morning Cindy suggested we set up a time far enough in the future that people would be able to plan for it and make it happen. She suggests Memorial weekend 2009. I’m sure Lynn and Jackie would love to have us, and I will confirm with them before anything is decided. I wanted to open the discussion to everyone. I think it would be great to be in one place, and spend a few days together. My parents have 80 acres and a handful of guest houses. It would be a lot of fun. Let’s figure something out.
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And in the meantime, will any Flockers be at or near South by SouthWest Interactive in Austin, March 8-9-10-11? I’ve persuaded my school to send me! (Am also collecting a short list of things not to be missed if on foot in Austin near the Capitol and convention center.)
What a splendid idea, Deron and Cindy.
I will speak to the fellow with the boat about the possibility of his ferrying Alek Lindus and entourage over to North America. (Alek has already dispatched him with a DVD for me; I expect to see him sometime this spring — once the ice floes blocking the St. Lawrence Seaway break up.)
(Oh, and here’s to you, Elizabeth, for prising loose travel funding from your school!)
Kathy and I have packed our bags and set them by the door. All we need is directions. I’ll make potato salad.
okay, first boil, or bake, some potatoes.
Deron. Ess. Oh. Ess.
Man, this is going to be like Woodstock like Burning Man like Rainbow Tribe like . . .
This is going to be like the Lewsiville Pop Festival!
(Lynn. Jackie. There’s still time to “make other plans”.)
Which way to the potatoes?
take a left. at woodstock.
We won’t have to do any of those creepy corporate bonding activities, will we?
let’s make a trust circle.
“Deron . . . I love you, man.”
(So long as we don’t have to side up in teams for a weekend of something like Blackwater training.)
first paintball, then testimonials.
We’ll see–other stuff going on other back burners. But a tentative “I’m in” from me.
Sounds fun, I’ll tell Danny to leave his “organizational development” toys at home. Though, a few years ago, we used to do “The Meyers-Briggs” as a dinner party game, and it was quite fun. And telling. We’ll plan to bring “Moose Jaw” and “3 to 13,” both card games.
Deron, at the “place,” is there running water? Is there electricity? Should we plan to bring laptops? Will there be wireless? Will we still post on c’flock while we’re there?
running water, yes.
electricity, yes.
laptops, yes.
wireless, sadly, no.
“wireless, sadly, no.”
perfection is the enemy of the good. Count me in.
Oh man, you can count me in.
Got to make this happen. Crazy and wonderful ideas need to happen more often.
good! this is great. we will make this happen. I will talk to my parents and float a date. Cindy said before memorial 2009 would be fine, but let’s start with that and see what we come up with.
psyched.
Does this involve some sort of weird swingers party?
yes.
(alternately.) define weird.
This is going to be so great.
I hope there’s some kind of wireless network in Texas by then, and electricity, too. We can all sit as a group in a guest cottage and post articles and comments on our laptops.
I’m much taller than I appear on the Internet.
Once ya’ll meet me in person you will infinitely prefer having hundreds of miles of fiber optic cable between us. Just FYI.
Does it have to be a weird swingers party or can it just be the regular kind?
I’ll have perfected my recipe for “Clusterfudge” by then. This has nothing to do with the weird swingers party, but something I hope to make the official dessert of Clusterflock.
Oh, I’m an INFP, so will there be time to have time to myself?
I can spike the Dr. Peppers either with acid or mescaline, so each of y’all be sure and let me know which you prefer.
yes.
I’m an INTJ, so I’ll have to have time by myself. Not to worry, I usually get up around 4:00 AM. I’m pretty good about not making too much noise.
Will there be toilet paper?
Wow, this is going to be great. Sheila, I’m counting on you to spike everything I drink/eat with something new. I need some fresh experiences.
Regarding toilet paper and the like, the farm does have ample facilities (I know this because I fell down on my way to them at Amy & Deron’s wedding). But sometimes a girl can’t wait, and squatting behind a tree is very messy. The pee goes everywhere. I’ve found that I must take off all of my lower clothing if I’m going to make it work, and I still get pee all over me. So one day many years ago, in conversation with Mr. Cooper Renner, I came up with the idea of a pee chute. It’s a chute formed from curved plastic. Simply place it on the pee pod and direct it where you want the pee to go. You can even write your name with your pee, like a boy. Voila! I promise to construct several pee chutes in time for Clusterflockstock.
Lovely, Cindy. Would you make one for me? Can you make it pink or Hello Kitty style?
I can hardly wait till 2009 to pee into a chute! In fact, we girls can get together and share outdoor peeing tips and tricks! We can try out your pee chute, and I can demonstrate my method for peeing out of doors. You don’t have to remove your britches completely, nor do you get the pee anywhere you don’t want it. But you do have to be reasonably limber, so maybe we could warm up with a few yoga postures, though anyone whose need to pee was urgent might just want to use the chute. Doing yoga on a full bladder can be uncomfortable.
Pee Ess: Cindy, you’re going to love it once you’ve drunk a couple of Diet Dr. Peppers I’ve spiked with acid! Your pee will be so pretty! Like a fairy princess’s pee!
Well, this is getting better and better. Can we wait until 2009??
Amy, I will be happy to make a pee chute especially for you. I can’t commit to a specific color or design because I’m an artist–the creative process that goes into pee chute construction cannot be directed. But I promise you a work of great beauty and utility.
clusterflockstock!!!
Or maybe just Clusterstock?
Cindy, I will be happy to urinate into any of your designs. I don’t want to interrupt your natural flow of ideas.
I like the ridiculous longness of clusterflockstock.
if we did shorten it, would it be flockstock?
I went with Clusterflockstock in the first place because it made me laugh.
And thank you, Amy. You won’t be disappointed.
When can we start forming committees and subcommittees to work on organizing this flockstock thang? You know, like a committee to act as liaison with local law enforcement authorities — and a sanitary facilities committee — and a committee to negotiate rights & licensing — and . . .
It’s just not a party without committees…
there’s no time like the present. Sheila, I appoint you commissioner or czar of flockstock, whichever you prefer.
Deron, how about flockstock comm-e-czar?
(Say — um, do your parents, like, know we’re looking to, like, party at their farm? Do they, uh, have a lock on the liquor cabinet?)
Sheila, I suggest flockstockdotcommeczar for short.
Or flockstockandbarrel?
flockstockandtwosmokingbarrelsdotcommeczar
Excellent.
Aw, man, I gotta go out and buy some liquor. I’ll check in when I get back from town. Y’all want anything?
Sheila, yes. Liquor.
Cindy, flockstockandtwosmokingbarrelsdotcommeczar is short for clusterflockstockandtwosmokingbarrelsdotcommeczar.
fyi.
Yeah, I kind of figured that. It’s just too long the other way
In my early twenties a psychologist diagnosed me INFP, so while I, too, need time alone, I hope that the weird swingers party isn’t during this alone time. “Weird” I guess would involve any number of things, like the elderly.
And here I’ve been thinking that an INFP was a hedge fund or some other kind of fancy-dancy investment portfolio.
As to what constitutes ‘weird’ — well, um, Brandon, are you suggesting that Harold and Maude‘s cultural moment has come and gone?
“Why do y’all fight sleep?”
This is a quote from my second cousin a few decades ago. We were visiting relatives who owned a hog farm in Flora, IL. My cousin, was a boy raised on this farm and I know he was used to going to bed and gettin’ up with the chickens.
My brother and I were “wound up” from the adventure of being there. We were goin’ on and on. Marty knew he’d have to be up “at the crack” to feed the hogs. My brother and I had no such constraints and we were… “wound up.”
Deron, will there be hogs in North Central Texas?
Brandon, yes, then it will be weird.
Rick, yes, there are hogs, but not on the farm, not domesticated anyway. People hunt the wild ones in the hollows.
“Wound up.” That’s good, Rick. My mother’s phrase is “keyed up” (variant: “all keyed up”).
In the event Deron doesn’t get around to answering for a while, I’ll just step in and say that I know there are bulls in north central Texas, and I would not be at all surprised if there were hogs. Would you like it if there were hogs? Maybe I could appoint a livestock committee to look into procuring some hogs. (Or is it bacon drippings you’re after?)
I’m fighting sleep for the umpteenth night in a row.
The wild hogs. Deron: do people call them boars? Javelinas? Peccaries?
They call them hogs or wild hogs I believe. And they big. Real big.
Seriously. Some people up there make a side business of hunting them and shipping them to speciality meat distributors. Supposed to be delicious. I’ll see if we can get us some for the get together.
58 comments so far in response to “clusterflock get-together”. I’d say that suggests more than moderate enthusiasm.
you are correct sir.
moderation is not a clusterflock virtue, methinks.
clusterflock: No moderators. Nothing in moderation.
Sheila: I love Harold and Maude. What a great soundtrack. Cat Stevens! Okay, fine, I’ll take the elderly.
Maybe by 2009 I could do that little piece of typesetting I told Lynn I’d do a year or so ago. Then I could say it took so damn long because I wanted to deliver the files in person.
Question: Should I bring my own cake pans, or do y’all have three 9-inch rounds already?
I’ll have to get back to you on the cake pans. Believe me, he has everything else, though. And probably an extra.
India, Daryl and I have the cake pans. We can also provide any fresh ingredients you might need–just let us know in a year or so.
What I want to know is whether Lynn will cook some of his amazing Middle Eastern fare for the flock. That alone would be worth the trip. (Well, that and Sheila in drag.)
” . . . that and Sheila in drag . . . ”
Cindy, like the cat under the bed, I’ll do my best — though I’ve never been sure what constitutes drag for me. My standard line on retiring to ‘do my face’ and dress to go out is, “Okay, I’m going to go turn myself into a girl.”
Brandon (belatedly): Since “forty is the new twelve”, I think that we have to set the ‘elderly’ bar somewhere close to ninety. And I’m not sure I’m up for that.
Do all y’all have any idea how much I love y’all?
okay, okay. I’m in- as long as all the IN** types that populate the Internet can find their space in the big bright starry skied night deep in the heart. CLAPS!
Deron, I know I am late to add my name, but if I am able to get over from the UK, I would love to be there – am I too late to add my name?
[...] initial reference to a pee chute. posted by Sheila Ryan in Meet the Flockers, crafts, history, objects, piss | * | [...]