March 13, 2008
Apostrophe Apoplexy
So there are people who would rather use straight quotes, for aesthetic, ease-of-use, technical and even social reasons, and their reasons do have some validity. But why do we have straight quotes at all? If they’re incorrect, where did they come from? Well, perhaps rather obviously, it’s a compromise created by the lack of space on original typewriter keyboards (more specifically, lack of space inside the typewriter for the extra workings for more keys). There wasn’t room to have an extra dedicated key for left or right quote/apostrophe marks, so a single key was used for a new “ambidextrous” set of quotes and apostrophes. As typewriters were a way of getting words hammered onto a page; faster than a scribe, easier to read than most people’s handwriting and always consistent, no matter who was doing the typing, this compromise was acceptable. If you wanted to publish your words, you would send it to a printer where typesetters would take your words and use their typographic skills to make them readable and (hopefully) beautiful.
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Hmmm. You’ve changed Apostrophe Atrophy to Apostrophe Apoplexy. What am I to make of this? Are you threatening me?
Don’t make me come over these drums.
Oh, we fight side by side in this battle, my lady.
Okay. I was just looking for an excuse to speak like Cornholio.
Again, side by side.
Straight quotes are also used for “feet” and “inches.”
Curly quotes for feet and inches are just as wrong as straight quotes are for quotations.