Back when Michael and I were in the pro sound and lighting business I duct-taped two roadies’ hands to their legs on the stage during a load-out. They didn’t see it coming. They never used crappy cheap duct tape on our cables after that either. I don’t feel bad about that one. Assholes.

Once in a non-violent, ‘kill ‘em with crazy’ mood I stared someone down while letting beer run out of my mouth onto the floor. I don’t remember who it was or why, but I don’t remember them bothering me anymore either. It’s always been easier for me to look crazy than to look dangerous. Michael? Do you remember what that was all about?

The Whole Foods in question is located in a very rapidly changing neighborhood, which has gone from being mostly tenements, unbelievably seedy residential hotels, and high-density apartment buildings, to being a nascent luxury district. There weren’t any amenities there before, and the Whole Foods was dropped into what was basically a no-groceries zone. The two nearest supermarkets are several blocks to the east and west, with none that I know of to the north or south for maybe a mile. The one to the west is pretty small and keeps rearranging itself and stocking more high-end products, in an effort to compete. The one to the east just had a horrible stabbing a few weeks ago.

Not a lot of consumer choice, so people compensate by being assholes.

“Do you know that it is possible, with the use of a thumb and two fingers, to pull a person’s windpipe out so far that nobody will hear a sound from them when a finger of the other hand goes through an eyeball and on, oh–say two inches into the brain?”

Of course you don’t have to do exactly what you mentioned as long as the sudden cessation of hostilities is effected.