March 11, 2008
I Love Scottish Accents
This was sent to me from a Scottish friend living in England.
A wee Glesga wummin goes intae a Butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is staunin haunds ahint his back, wi his erse aimed at an electric fire.
The wee wummin checks oot the display case and asks: ‘Is that yer Ayrshire Bacon?’
‘Naw,’ replies the butcher ‘Its jist ma hauns ah’m heatin.’
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Of the things I picked up from 3 months in the UK & Ireland a few years ago, being able to distinguish between English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh accents with any reliability brings me perhaps the most satisfaction. (Though I’m still not sure the Yorkshire accent is, in fact, English.)
That, and saying “bollocks” as a swear without any trace of intention, pretense or irony on precious occasions.
The English actually made up the north of England as a hilarious joke to trick and confuse foreigners with. We actually use it as a massive theme park most of the time.