March 8, 2008
They yclep us doormats . . .
Two Danish academics, Klaus Kjöller of the University of Copenhagen and Tröls Mylenberg of the University of Southern Denmark, conducted a thorough analysis of the names used in the IKEA catalog. They concluded that the Swedish names are reserved for the “better” products, and that even Norwegian names manage to make it into the bed department. But the “lesser” products bear Danish names like “Roskilde” and “Köge.”…Upholstered furniture, bookcases and multimedia consoles, for example, are named after small Swedish cities, while Norwegian towns serve as the namesakes of beds, dressers and hallway furniture. Names of Finnish origin grace the company’s chairs and dining tables. As it turns out, nothing is random at IKEA. “Doormats and runners, as well as inexpensive wall-to-wall carpeting are third-class, if not seventh-class, items when it comes to home furnishings,” Kjöller is quoted as saying in Nyhedsavisen, a Danish free paper. The stuff that goes on the floor, Kjöller said, is about as low as it gets. He accused the home furnishings company of “Swedish imperialism.”
(from Org Theory, via Law and Letters)
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10 Responses to “They yclep us doormats . . .”
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if I had a dollar for every time “Swedish imperialists!” has rolled off my tongue I’d have enough for a downpayment on a Danish doormat.
Just this fall I paid my first visit ever to an IKEA mart, and speaking as a third-generation Danish American, after a couple of hours under the weight of Swedish imperialism my lower back was a little sore. My arches, too.
It is worth noting that at no time during the short-lived heyday (1611-1718) of the Swedish Empire (or Stormaktstiden) did we Danes submit to Swedish imperialism.
And furthermore, I wish to go on record stating that there is not a scrap of evidence to bolster the contention that the woman of whom Cab Calloway sang, “She had a dream about the King of Sweden/He gave her things that she was needin’ ” was a Dane.
Sheila, can we work on making Swedish Imperialists! a clusterflock meme?
Sure! As a matter of fact, you can count on me to drive it right into the ground!
Of course, as a Norwegian myself, I have no choice but to owe fealty to the Swedes for setting us free from Old Pharaoh.
The Swedes may be imperialist dogs, but cozying up to them keeps us warm at night.
John, it’s the Swedes who perpetuate those demeaning Ole-and-Lena jokes, you know.
Sheila, we Norwegians are a pretty humorless lot. To paraphrase Faulkner, Between demeaning jokes and nothing I will take demeaning jokes.
::licks Sweden’s boot::
Norwegians? Humorless? No way. Ibsen, for instance, can be a laff riot depending how you stage him.
Back in my drug-addled youth, a roommate and I used to coerce our cats into “Kitten Theater” performances, and I’m telling you, when I held Scatter (the yellow cat) and waggled his front legs and spoke his lines (“The sun, Mother! The sun!”), we had audiences falling out of their seats.