Comments on: Dear Clusterflock,

By: Andrew Simone

Andrew Simone — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 17:02:27 +0000

He also has an industrial roaster, Joseph, since he is trying to set up a roasting business.

By: Joseph Abrahamson

Joseph Abrahamson — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 07:17:48 +0000

Wow, your roommate has quite the setup, Andrew. I totally just have an air popcorn popper. Sweet Maria tells me I need to modify it a bit first, though…

By: India

India — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:26:15 +0000

Sheila: Yes, stockpiling gifts is a good idea, and one recommended by Evany Thomas just last week. I do try to do this, but the problem is that then I either forget that I have them, can't find them when I need them, use/consume them myself, or never think of anyone appropriate to give them to. While I'm staying with friends and witnessing their way of life, I usually think of all kinds of nice gifts they would appreciate and use. But then I don't write these ideas down, and so I forget. I need to start e-mailing them to myself, probably. Amy: Your praise for condiments reminds me that certain beloved mad canners are always giving me homemade jams and preserves. Problem is, I don't eat much jam or preserves, unless you count Nutella. So these jars tend to accumulate in my pantry, and as I add the 2008 vintage of So-and-so's Fruit Jam, I often find the 2007 jar, and maybe the 2006. I appreciate the spirit of such gifts extremely, but it's kind of like having a subscription to the New Yorker. I like the idea of it, but in reality I just can't keep up. Joseph: Yes! Tasty tea is always welcome in my house, although I have a mountain of it already. It will all get drunk, eventually. And I have given tea to a hostess at least once, now that I think of it.

By: Rick Neece

Rick Neece — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 01:14:14 +0000

India
Your extended thoughts above are wonderful. What a great question. Danny and I struggle nearly everytime we visit someone. Your last paragraph (assholes) is priceless.

“Just your sweet selves,” is what Danny tells folks who call to see what they can bring. Though wine as a gift is always appreciated. A couple friends who “know” bring a fifth of Stoli.

By: Andrew Simone

Andrew Simone — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:37:15 +0000

It is super easy, Joseph. My roommate does it all the time.

By: Michael Smith

Michael Smith — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:36:24 +0000

I struggle with what to say when people ask me what to bring. Mostly, if I’m inviting you over, I’m planning on taking care of everything, but, because we drink mostly water, our fridge is generally lacking beverages (sure we have beer, soy milk and the occasional bottle of juice, and for the last 6 and a half months or so we’ve not had a bottle of wine in the house because it”s the one thing my wife asked me to give up with her when she got pregnant), so if asked I might say – “we have [insert appropriate beverages], feel free to bring anything else you might like.”

On the other hand, I always feel funny not offering to bring something when invited. Most of the time, if nothing specific is requested, I’ll bring wine or a nice dessert (purchased).

Really, no gift stands out as my favorite type to receive, but my favorite get togethers with close friends all include guests and host alike in the kitchen working together (even if working, as defined by some of my friends, is just pouring new drinks as needed). I love the camaraderie of a full kitchen almost as much as a great meal.

By: Joseph Abrahamson

Joseph Abrahamson — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:34:48 +0000

Wine, flowers, chocolate.

A gift of nice tea or coffee is a beautiful thing in my book. I’d like to start roasting so I can make gifts of fresh beans.

By: Andrew Simone

Andrew Simone — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:34:02 +0000

As tde said, Kyle is right about not expecting wine to be opened that night but that is only for dinner parties proper. When I was in the Central Coast there was often five or six bottles opened at a time to compare and talk about them with spoiled or unredeemable wine dumped (freaking wine geeks) so there was always a possibility your bottle would be open. Plus we generally just drank a shitload (6 people last thanksgiving, 18 bottles of wine). As for what I bring that can get complicated but nearly always involves booze: Most of my friends generally think I know something about wine so they always ask my advice or give a rundown on the meal so I can bring something appropriate. However in those situations where I don't know what is for dinner I try not to bring wine but something more exotic, like an hard to get belgium beer or an apéritif, probably an Eau de vie. Something people never, ever think about buying. I also like to have a little story prepared about the beverage like how I discovered it, when it is used historically (etc, etc) to give the experience some meaning behind it lest the boozes turns into "that weird shit Simone brought" and gets left on the shelf.

By: tde

tde — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:27:17 +0000

Kyle is quite right that one shouldn’t expect a gift wine to be poured that night. Unfortunately some hosts feel obligated to do so.

By: Amy Mabli

Amy Mabli — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:25:22 +0000

Maybe the trends have changed since the 1960′s when my mother would be a young adult attending dinner parties and such. She said there were awesome German bakeries where she’d get things to bring. She’s an awesome cook, so I guess it wasn’t about that.

I’d love special chocolates, alcohol of any kind, and I would love flowers. Some type of odd condiment or something homemade would be wonderful.