April 25, 2008
Seinfeldian
One of the women who live in the four-plex next to us has been very kind to Amy and me. She invites us to dinner. We chat sometimes in the evening. She is recently divorced, just turned fifty, has wonderful, beautiful children and is filled with generosity.
The other night I was pulling out of the driveway on a beer run and saw her with a friend on the sidewalk in front of the apartments. Caught up in the moment — drinking? smoking? a general exuberance? — my headlights captured her in some sort of idol-worship in front of the other woman; flopped on the ground, arms extended, sort of praying.
It was a beautiful moment. She waved in the darkness as she rushed to her feet and, I fear, was unable to see my return.
I bring this up because I saw her in the grocery store the other night and she seemed to be hiding. We were a couple aisles away from each other during check out and I called her name. She smiled and said hello but hung back once I moved forward — no more eye contact.
The thing I’m wondering is if she’s embarrassed now because of the scene I witnessed a few weeks ago. For me, it was a pleasant moment on my way to the beer store. For her? Who knows.
How does one broach this kind of subject?
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9 Responses to “Seinfeldian”
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I tend to be more direct than most people, but what I would do is write her a little note on pretty paper or a card and leave it in her mailbox, telling her that you just wanted her to know that the sight of her, caught for an instant in your headlights in a what appeared to be a significant moment, was a beautiful sight for you, and one that you thank her for.
You could invite her over for dinner.
Make something nice and ignore the incident. Like Cindy, I generally like be direct, but in this instance, she might be embarrassed about whatever it is she thinks you witnessed, and bringing it up might create a situation where she has to explain herself (causing even more embarrassment).
Without knowing your neighbor, it’s hard to say which option is better.
Is it possible that her standoffishness is unrelated to this incident?
(Some dotted red line is telling me ’standoffishness’ is not a word, but I’m choosing not to listen).
another option is possible as a reason for her distance but I’d have no way of knowing what it was. I’m pretty sure it was the incident and I’m pretty sure we’ll find a way around it. she’s good people.
I knelt and did the “I’m not worthy” bow to a cop once when he let me off with a verbal warning instead issuing a speeding ticket. He had me fair and square and I could not afford the points on my license. His only reaction to my gesture was one of mild annoyance. How that scene must have looked to other motorists passing by on the busy highway.
Maybe sharing a vaguely disturbing anecdote like that one would break the ice with your friend?
Hi neighbor. One time I fellated a cop. Friends?
Like that, Michael?
By the way, when I googled fellated to see if I’d spelled it correctly the free dictionary asked: looking for Chloe Sevigny?
You fellated a cop? That’s an icebreaker all right. All I did was thank one for not giving me a speeding ticket.
What were you trying to get out of?
whatever you want to call it.
Deron, maybe your neighbor was looking for Chloe Sevigny.
I’ll help her look.