May 16, 2008
All rise! Crazy Court is now in session.
LOVE IS IN THE AIR AND SO IS CRAZY COURT
OK, I was slumbering in a Crazy Court in Austin. And there were many. Divorce Proceedings: Woman has not turned up because she believes that this is just a procedural matter because Man has told her that he did not want a lawyer. The parties have made up some half-ass document and Man has taken it to the Court. Then we hear that Man does not want any help, but only wants to be divorced this morning. The Judge is somewhat at sixes and sevens: “You do not have a lawyer, and your wife is not here, and you have the idea that you can be divorced by demanding a divorce, and that you and your wife do not intend to break up. Is that right?
“Nor do you have court papers with you that could in any way be useful.”
Further sayeth the Judge: “What are you thinking?”
The Man (dressed in clothing and hair-do from 1968, while in a courtroom actually in Time of 1980 or so): Well, I don’t intend to break up with my wife; we still love each other.
Judge: What in tarnation do you want?
Man: I don’t want your bourgeois divorce.
Judge: Sir, since you do not need a bourgeois divorce, then I cannot agree that you need any kind of divorce. You may return with an attorney on Monday morning and act like a man instead of a gibbering gibbon. At that time you should be nicely dressed and with your wife.
Man: Oh, man, my wife is going to spit if she has to come down here.
Judge: Dismissed.
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8 Responses to “All rise! Crazy Court is now in session.”
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Judge: What in tarnation do you want?
Man: I don’t want your bourgeois divorce.
That just makes me happy.
And this is why I’d like more cameras in the courtroom. Or, at the very least, more illustration. Preferably from an eight-year-old.
Oh, what a brilliant suggestion! I mean it. An eight-year-old courtroom sketch artist! Cindy . . . Daryl . . . you think Mia would be up for it in another year or so?
We’ll work on it.
In the meantime, I’ll just try to imagine Crazy Court as sketched by Wil Freeborn.
And? That’s just my normal day at work.
. . . suggesting one possible distinction between being a librarian and being a judge. Maybe.
The judges see just as many such characters as the public law library. The distinction is that the judge has more authority to tell the person to go away, and they go away faster.