May 8, 2008
Daryl Scroggins’ suggested handgun permit questions
Let’s put some questions together that would work for a permit to carry application:
1. Have you ever thought you had finally made it to the bathroom, only to wake up and find that you were pissing on an electrical outlet?
2. Do you own a pair of black gloves that are way too small for you?
3. Does your idea of “concealed” include anything you might decide to do in front of an open window in your house?
4. Quick as you can: whose face is on the target at the gun range?
5. How many cases of ammunition do you have for your weapon at the moment?
6. Do you think the nuclear regulatory commission is interfering with your right to bear arms?
7. When you fuck, where’s your gun?
8. Why the fuck do you think you need a permit to carry what the constitution already says you don’t haf to ask a mother-fuckin…shit, who–what the–
9. Are you currently registered as a Republican?
10. If a Black Bear is about to eat your BBQ at the lake, and they are protected, and there is a big crowd of people behind the bear and in your line of fire, and you fear that, after eating the babyback ribs, the bear will surely head for the tent where your wife is sleeping–do you take the shot, or do you act like a pussy and wave your fucking arms around, losing the pistol–allowing the bear to eat-your-ass Up?
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