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Great moments in archaeological deduction

“We know they were there because they were remarkably messy.”

–Thomas Gilbert, University of Copenhagen

Captain Hook and His Scurvy Christian Pirate Puppet Crew

I stand corrected. The televangelizing, ventriloquizing Captain Hook was not, as I implied, a Texan (though he did release an LP titled “Captain Hook A-live in Texas”). He was a Hoosier. A Hoosier biker who wiped out, lost a leg, and saw the light, which light illuminated a vision of himself as the piratical Christian captain of a piratical Christian puppet crew and host of a Christian television program for children.

The televangelical Captain Hook was no fey Cyril Ritchard pirate dandy nor ambiguous Jack Sparrow. Nosirree. He had him a Mrs. Hook right there on the ship with him (what might Jack Aubrey have said?) along with those puppets, one of whom was named Sharkey. If you listen to this clip, you can pray along with Sharkey: Captain Hook and His Scurvy Christian Pirate Puppet crew.

He’s right, you know.

It is.

My Scoot

My Scooter is the one on the furthest left. Two other fellows I work with also both recently bought scooters and we all rode home together like some sort of biker gang. It was as fun as it was silly. To avoid taking a U-turn about a mile down the road we zipped over the hill seen at the other end of the parking lot.

Speaking of Memorial Day…

My grandfather, second from the left on the bottom, who made a career of the U.S. Air Force. In this picture dated between 1968-69, he is a Colonel in 16th SOS at Ubon. It startles me a bit to see a man now passed was once so young.

“You say liar; I say poet.”

composure bench
mirdle
crate training
occasion
faulty male introspection
collaborative thought leadership
federal building
intense greeting interaction

These are just a few of the handy terms you can learn from Buckle up your mirdle! Euphemisms from heck by Mark Peters, who’s guestblogging over at OUPblog.

Dear Neighbor

Your car alarm works really well.

Cheneyhenge

Best. Gothamist post. Ever. By John Del Signore:

Dick Cheney Visit to Neutralize Tonight’s Manhattanhenge

Manhattanhenge, the visually stunning phenomenon that occurs twice a year when the sun sets in perfect alignment with Manhattan’s street grid, is happening tonight. It’s just too bad that Vice President Dick Cheney has arranged to be in town at the exact moment of the sunset, to speak at the New York Republican State Committee Dinner and simultaneously smother the golden light under his all-encompassing shroud of darkness.

Of course it’s no coincidence that the famously secretive Cheney would time his visit to Manhattan to coincide with Manhattanhenge – he’s long been devoted to ensuring the triumph of darkness over light; as he once told Tim Russert, “We also have to work, though, sort of the dark side, if you will.” So don’t be alarmed when tonight’s sunset is suddenly eclipsed by a frigid black miasma – that’s just Cheney taking the podium . . .

The hour approacheth. I’m scared.

Ministry Starter Set Puppets

This might help Cindy with her Texas themed puppet ideas.

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Little Known Verse from Leviticus

Oh, that Pinky and his Scripture learning.

solitary bees, 50

He washes the dishes downstairs in the kitchen. The steam clouds around him. When he turns off the water it is really quiet in the house. He dries his hands and walks up the stairs to check on her. She is sitting up in bed, her elbows on her knees, her face in her hands. When he turns around, the floor creaks. She looks up to see him walking away from her. She wipes at the tears on her cheek and says mostly to herself, I was serious about that dessert.

HOTWICKS

So HOTWICKS looks to be the candle-ary equivalent of Demeter colognes. But Dirt and Laundromat notwithstanding, I don’t think Demeter offers anything quite like The Stripper Candle or The Urinal Cake Candle.

(Chris Glass picked up on this by way of Uncrate: The Buyer’s Guide for Men. Ah. A guy thing.)

Laura Zindel Ceramics

from the awesome

Dunkin Donuts has pulled an ad that featured Rachael Ray in a scarf that Michelle Malkin said looked too much like a Middle Eastern keffiyeh and thus represented “the murderous Palestinian jihad“.

Fucking donut selling appeasers.

also and for your information

Me and Ashley are preggers.

spamalot!

Sales of Spam are on the rise as people offset the rising costs of food and fuel.

Deus Ex Machina, a motorcycle from the future

Poney Express – La Fugue