June 4, 2008


call 1-866-739-3150 to nominate the next bachelor

Me: I think Franklin should be the next bachelor.

Amy: He doesn’t have any balls.

Me: That’s okay. We can get him neuticals.

Amy: Can he still get it up?

Me: Dogs have a penis bone.

Amy: You should get one.

posted by Deron Bauman in animals, pets, television 

comments

11 Responses to “call 1-866-739-3150 to nominate the next bachelor”

  1. Sheila Ryan on June 4th, 2008 at 11:07 am

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I have a crush on Franklin. Will he be at clusterflockstock?

  2. Deron Bauman on June 4th, 2008 at 11:09 am

    god willing.

  3. Tracy on June 4th, 2008 at 11:56 am

    Here’s a Clusterflock feature request: random cross-posting of comments.

    Example:

    On the “Dyson Airblade” post BJ Clark made the following comment that, in my opinion, would be equally appropriate here: “I used one of those things at the Oregon Convention Center this weekend. Pretty cool actually. I don’t know if it worked as well as I expected, but it works. You just have to move your hands REALLY SLOWLY as you pull them out.”

    Thoughts?

  4. Tracy on June 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am

    Oh, and no, I don’t want your bourgeois penis bone…

  5. Amy Mabli on June 4th, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    People, I have to say that we do not really watch The Bachelor TV show. Deron reads me Balzac every night while I stroke my collection of taxidermied Wolf penis bones.

  6. Sheila Ryan on June 4th, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    I nominate Tracy to set up the mechanism for random cross-posting of comments.

    Much stamping and shouting et cetera.

  7. Sheila Ryan on June 4th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    That’s a cool photo of a raccoon penis bone in that Wikipedia entry, Deron. I want to make a raccoon penis bone necklace.

    ‘Penis bone necklace’ seems like a Bo Diddley kind of thing.

  8. Alek Lindus on June 4th, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    if you send me the parts i’ll make it

  9. Sheila Ryan on June 4th, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    I reckon on at least a dozen raccoons, don’t you think? This may take a while.

    I wonder whether chipmunks have penis bones. I didn’t think to check this morning. (I’d thought that some other animal had made off with the remains of the chipmunk whose haunches and tail Lena had eaten yesterday after she killed it out behind the house; then this morning I discovered she’d hauled the critter’s corpse around to the path that leads to our front door.)

  10. Deron Bauman on June 4th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Sheila, I’ll take Jasper with me under the house and see if we can rustle one up for you.

    Actually, now that I think about it, there is a jewelry designer who recently moved from Dallas who had / has a line of penis bone necklaces. He gave one to a friend of mine who didn’t want it and she gave it to me. Seriously, a raccoon penis bone pendant.

  11. Sheila Ryan on June 4th, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    When you think of it, I hope you’ll photograph yourself wearing it and post the photo.

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