June 27, 2008
Stool Doody
So I work a little part-time job a couple days a week (at a library), and today I was told I was on “stool duty,” which my (equivalent of an eleven year old’s) brain basically hears as “poop poopy*,” so in celebration of that, I give you the latest in the world of poop:
- Democratic Convention May Debut Use of Poop Gun
It’s basically like the sick-sticks in Minority Report, except it works in the, uhh, other direction. - Bird Poop Facials
No, not that kind of facials. The other kind of facials. You pervert. - Teacher Receives Grant for Alternative Fuel Source Project
The source? Worm poop and sugar beets. My mom used to make a nice worm poop and sugar beets casserole for Sunday dinner. Ahh, those were the days… - Spraying It Pink—The Latest Scheme To Tackle Dog Fouling
Because dying the poop pink will apparently embarrass dog owners into cleaning up after their pets? Really? The secondary purpose, it seems, is to help people avoid stepping in the doo. Of course, whoever’s painting the turds could probably use that time cleaning them up, no?
*I’d try to explain what it really meant, but it’s just not worth the effort of contextualization for our purposes.
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