And another thing
Note to self
Don’t wear yellow shirt to Ikea.
Dear clusterflock:
Where in tarnation have I been?
And what the flaming hell have I been doing?
An apparition
The church clears out quick after the second service. As I idled through the deserted parking lot, something caught my eye. A pile of vomit, bright and baking under the noonday sun. I pulled the car up for a closer inspection. The grapes I recognized from coffee hour; the bright yellow bits were of unknown origin. In a circumstance such as this, I have always wondered: reverse transubstantiation? I looked closely for any sign of the wafer, but like the body behind the stone, it was gone.
Unexpected hip-hop lyric du jour
Dressed smart like a London bloke.
Before he speak, his suit bespoke.
From Kanye West’s “American Boy.” (And apparently, I’m not the first to grin at this.)
Strandloper
When Alan Garner’s Strandloper (Harvill) appeared in 1996, it was immediately notable for a couple of uncommon reasons: Read more
Clusterdouche, Redesigned! Huzzah!
One of my favorite sites. I’ve linked to them before. These guys are the happy warriors in the campaign against douchebaggery. Spiffy facelift and lots of new content. Not for the faint of heart or anyone who thinks the Earth is less than 5,000 years old.
Coming Out the Nose
I just saw a TV ad for Flomax that noted possible side effects of “runny nose and a decrease in semen.”
Catering the Rapture
Special Report — I think about food too much. I know I do. I acquired the tendency honestly.
When I was a little critter growing up in the compound, my mother elected herself nutritionist for our entire breakaway republic. There’s no telling what Mom would have achieved as Dietician-General if our fifty-two member group had seceded from the United States.
kinky or what……
A question for the ladies.
If you found out that your husband had a thing for wearing women’s underwear what would you do?
A question for the men.
If you found out your mate was a bit of a cross dresser what would you do?
fyi
I’m washing my keyboard.
What Cindy Just Called Her
Alaskan King Cunt
Just a thought
I imagine the sound inside a small aluminum room filled with first year violin students tuning while seated in wooden rocking chairs surrounded by long tailed cats in heat would be just like Neil Young’s voice.
Ocho Cinco sticks it to the man
Chad Johnson, a wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, got fined last year for putting Ocho Cinco on the back of his jersey (his number is 85). This week, he legally changed his last name to Ocho Cinco. Take that NFL!
Um
Looks like the comments from yesterday afternoon on disappeared. Any idea what happened? WordPress glitch?
solitary bees, 64
The woman sitting in front of them looks back over her shoulder.
You’re lucky.
Karen takes a while to realize she is talking to her.
How’s that?
You’re lucky.
She motions in the direction Jeremy has gone.
Read more
Dude built a landspeeder
Lower Stories: Mr. Starks and Mr. Green in Dayton
Starks and Green were nightshift high school custodians. They feared the terrible power of the daytime maintenance men. Sherman Starks looked like an earlier version of B.B. King and drove an immaculate blue 1970 Buick Electra 225. Jim Green was an older, more grizzled man with a steel wool mustache and a twinkle in his eye.
Starks wouldn’t say anything without taking a quick look to see if the maintenance men or some white people were listening. He’d laugh without showing his teeth so he wouldn’t get caught.
Jim Green didn’t care who heard him. He talked about prison and how he got there. “Yeah, I killed that sombitch. Then I dug him up and stuck a knife in his heart.”
Boomtown Rats
Mehrzeller Caravan Concept
Ferrambo
What do you get when you combine a 1960 Nash Rambler Wagon and a Ferrari 360?
McCain VP Hot Pick is Hot Chick
Elected in 2006 as governor of a state that has a population density lower than outer space, the former basketball player and beauty queen acquired the nickname “Sarah Barracuda” for her competitive ferocity in pageant competitions.
This sexiest bright hope of conservatives once kilt a grizzly with her bare hands, and was awarded the mayoralty of Wasilla, one of Alaska’s least-amusingly named cities, as first prize for winning the famous Iditarod dogsled race in 1996.
More than a Renovation
Deron blogged about Blake’s house in Dwell. The article refers to his house here in Austin as a renovation. I am lucky enough to know Blake and his house. I thought he had built it pretty much from scratch, so I asked if it was indeed a renovation. Here is what he said.
Well, to answer your question, no, the house isn’t a renovation. It’s built from the ground up. That gets a little confused on occasion. And I can understand why. I bought an old house, lived there the entire time, and put another house in the same location, so it’s easy to see why people would call it a renovation. Truth is, I lived there, knocked the whole thing down in stages and built back up. What still exists from the old house is the slab (now about 60% of the whole house footprint), which I had to completely repair and later pour on top of anyways. I also reused material from the house, like doors and framing lumber, too, but nothing else about the original house exists now. I put some pics online awhile back that illustrate the process a little.
It truly is beautiful right down to the wall mounted bottle opener in the kitchen. You can see his pictures of the process here and more of his stuff on his website.
Google’s take on McCain’s VP
Privacy Anywhere
In the car dealership’s crowded service waiting room today, a woman’s phone rang loudly. She was seated right next to a sign that asked people to please step out of the room to accept phone calls. But, she answered her phone loudly, and began to speak loudly:
“Oh hi it was me called Bob’s got a tumor behind his eye! … No they’re not going to take it out they say you do that it’s everywhere. … The shoes? Oh I got the beige ones if I had known about this I would’a got the blue….”
This went on for quite some time, and included lunch plans and much talk of other recent purchases. I considered writing a note to slip to her, asking her if the tumor was shaped, perhaps, like a cell phone.