August 16, 2008


An Act of God

In the mailbox today was a magazine addressed to one of our neighbors over on the ridge. Ordinarily I’d leave it for the mailman with a note about redelivery, but Insiders Betting Digest insisted on following me home.

The instant I handed it to Jon, he cried out, “Jesus! Thank you, Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus has entered my life! He wants me to be a gambler! Jesus has . . . touched me . . . and put his hand on my wallet!

“This is an act of God!”

We’d been talking for a good long while about how we were ever going to achieve our goal of amassing wealth without working (”making money in the kitchen in our underwear,” as a friend puts it), and online sportsbooks figured prominently in a vision that shimmered before us as a kind of Promised Land.

Truly this postal misdelivery was providential.

posted by Sheila Ryan in economics, entertainment, how to, internet, magazines, religion, sports 

comments

7 Responses to “An Act of God”

  1. Kathy Hilen-Smith on August 16th, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Put your money on Jesus. Just do it.

  2. Sheila Ryan on August 16th, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    Gonna do what I once heard a preacher man tell his congregation in a converted movie theater in Dallas: “Don’t worry about the rent! Jesus will take care of the rent!”

  3. Kathy Hilen-Smith on August 16th, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    No kidding? How does Jesus feel about mortgage payments? Will he take care of those too? If so, I might need to be saved.

  4. Deron Bauman on August 16th, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    I don’t want your bourgeois Jesus.

  5. Sheila Ryan on August 16th, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    My Jesus is a rambin’ gamblin’ Jesus.

  6. Sheila Ryan on August 16th, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    When my creditors phone, I tell them they’ll need to talk with Jesus but that he’s out just now.

  7. Michael Grant Smith on August 16th, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    I’m a little short right now but I’ll pay you when the Rapture comes.

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