August 6, 2008


Schoolboys and farting

I was perusing my favourite dictionary this morning while doing 300 crunches to make my abs look awesome, and came across this gem:

randle (răn’dəl) - n. a nonsensical poem recited by Irish schoolboys as an apology for farting at a friend.

What a cool freaking word! So I immediately postponed my crunches and consulted my OED to find out more… but nothing. Nothing more on the internet either—just amateur dictionaries that have the same definition word for word.

RATS! I want to know if the nonsense poem has specific words or any nonsensical uttering will do. Am I allowed to rip one into the face of my good pal and then recite Jabberwocky and everything will be hunky-dory again? Also, why would this randle placate the poor feller who has just been farted upon? It would have to be a pretty awesome poem to keep me from wailing on my assailant.

posted by Christopher Walken in etiquette, grammar, language, odd, poetry, poop, sociology 

comments

9 Responses to “Schoolboys and farting”

  1. Raynor on August 6th, 2008 at 8:24 am

    i’m not irish. i’m no schoolboy. but this is a word that i can use. perhaps i will come up with my own little randle for the odd occasion on which i have to apologize for flatulating at a bud.

  2. Mike Dresser on August 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    “He who smelt it, dealt it”?

  3. Andrew Simone on August 6th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    A classic. I was just thinking about that one, Mike. Not very apologetic, though, is it?

  4. Rick Neece on August 6th, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    Christopher, pardon me please.
    Something I ate was diseased,
    It begged me to free it
    And since none would see it,
    I did. You got caught in the breeze.

  5. Mike Dresser on August 6th, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    No, apologetic it is not. I suppose we’ll have to write our own.

    Whose fumes these are, I think I know
    His house is in my trousers, though.
    Though following he’s sure to be,
    Let’s out into the hallway go.

  6. Rick Neece on August 6th, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    Mike D! Fabulous!

  7. Mike Dresser on August 6th, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    Ha, Rick. We were composing fart poems at the very same moment. Clusterflock: bringing people together. Absurdly.

  8. Sheila Ryan on August 6th, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Some years ago I witnessed a boy-child of my acquaintance as he ran in stocking-feet from kitchen to living room, a can of guava juice in one hand. As he slipped on the wooden floor and took the inevitable tumble, he farted, then hoisted the can of juice and said, “Guava.” It was not so much an apology as an acknowledgment.

  9. Raynor on August 7th, 2008 at 7:19 am

    m & r: awesome poems, definitely supports the saying “he who said the rhyme [quite unabashedly] did the crime.”

    also: christopher, why were you doing crunches and reading the dictionary? this is bizarre behavior even for you.

Leave a Reply