January 9, 2009

Deflowered by Marimba Player

Deflowered by Marimba Player

After being deflowered, you discover that your parents refuse to give consent to marriage with mustachioed marimba player. You are prevented from arranging another rendezvous, but you see him by chance at Junior League charity dance. He is playing in rhumba band. At intermission, you meet.

You say, “I’m terribly sorry, Harold, but my parents won’t let me marry you.”

He says, “That’s all right, baby. I’ve been happily married for years.”

You say: “How did your wife get her parents’ consent?”

Your main difficulty apparently is getting the consent of your parents. It is wise to learn how other girls get theirs. Miss H.P.

From Edward Gorey’s The Recently Deflowered Girl: The Right Thing to Say on Every Dubious Occasion.


  1. Sheila Ryan on January 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am

    I do especially like the advice tendered to a girl deflowered at a seance. But then anything featuring both a smooth-talking gypsy and the spirit of Rudolph Valentino will do it for me big-time.

  2. Lucy Foley on January 9th, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    Oh God I love Edward Gorey so much. This is delicious. Deflowered by Chinese detective is particularly cunning.

  3. India on January 9th, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    WHY did my parents never teach me these things?!? All’s I got was Emily Post and Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teens.