January 5, 2009
the god of small things
Today I can hold a coffee cup in my right hand.
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21 Responses to “the god of small things”
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Today I can hold a coffee cup in my right hand.
21 Responses to “the god of small things”
Leave a Reply
Ah. That’s wonderful, Deron. It’s amazing how happy we can be to re-acquire the ability to do something we once took for granted.
it’s true. they kept telling me ‘you’re going to need therapy on the hand when it heals’. I didn’t realize how immobile it would become. everything I touch hurts from new nerves. it’s crazy. yesterday I could hardly move my fingers. today I can close the hand halfway.
Makes me want to smile and cry at the same time.
this process has been really weird. I made my peace with what I lost in the emergency room. the difficult part has been everything after.
I understand this. When I broke my elbow, I also lost the ability to move my hand. My digits shook wildly when I tried to control them. At one point, my orthopedic surgeon (hereafter known as The Asshole) asked me to make a fist. I worked very hard and, after about a minute, was able to make a little fist. I was very pleased. He looked at it and said, “That’s a girl fist–make a real fist.” I summoned all of my will into that hand and managed to shoot him the finger.
what a fucking asshole. sometimes I hate people.
Deron, I am so damn proud of you — both for what you are doing and for telling us about it.
there is so much I want to tell. I don’t know where to start.
Start with what you wanted to make that day.
That’s awesome.
I can relate slightly, when I was 9 I had a tumor removed from my neck and had to wear one of those neck braces. For months my chin was attached to my shoulders and when the damn thing came off I still couldn’t turn my head without turning my shoulders.
Cindy, do you mean, what was I working on?
Yes–what you wanted to accomplish with the saw.
I was working on a front door for our house. I’m feeling a little skittish lately. I have a couple table saw accessories I can / need to buy to make things safer.
not that they would have prevented the original accident.
Fucking excellent.
Bravo!
Good on ye, man. I’m coming up on a year of walking on my right foot again after the car accident, and every milestone–from wearing the same size shoe to walking on grass without wincing–has been a blessing. It’s still not, and may never be, 100%, but I’ve made my peace with that to the extent I can.
I’ve never worried about dings in my car. “It’s a car!” I tell people, “It’s meant to be used. It will eventually be used up, destroyed.” I suppose our bodies are the same, though that loss of integrity that comes from breaking one’s parts is tough to see past.
Good luck finishing that door.
You’re doing great if you can do that already. My brother completely severed the nerves (and everything else) on his right arm down to the bone three years ago, and he described the regeneration (a good thing) as excruciating. Six months of constant pins and needles, 24/7. That said, better to be feeling those nerves talking to each other all day and night than not!
He’s at about 95% capacity now, and they told him best case scenario was 60%, such is the wonder of rigorously following your physio and not over (or under) doing it.
One day I will have to share his story of when it happened. It is both gruesome and tremendously funny at the same time.
holy shit! And thanks for the info, Kris. The things the nerves are doing are psychedelic. It’s good to have some context what’s going on.
Wonderful news, Deron, really wonderful.
Outstanding. I’ll bet the coffee tasted great.