February 5, 2009
When Inauguration Inebriation Goes Wrong
A true story of hope and change.
Around 4pm on Inauguration Day, I was walking my elderly Corgi about a block from my house in central Austin when I heard a woman’s voice call out, “WHO WANTS TO PARTY?”
A middle-aged blonde woman in a robe stepped out onto the front porch of a house across the street. She looked at me and clearly didn’t think I was party material. Let me reiterate: It was 4:00 pm on a Tuesday.
“Did you vote for McCain?” she asked, in a surly voice.
I kind of half shook my head “no,” half did the “don’t engage the crazy person” head tilt. The woman apparently took this gesture to mean “Yes, I voted for McCain and I’d do it again if I could!”
“I KNEW IT!” she slurred/yelled. “I could tell just by LOOKING AT YOU!” (I was wearing sweat pants and a hoodie with owls on it. Not matching. Just the hoodie had the owl print.)
I kept walking, a bit more quickly. I thought our interaction was over, until I heard behind me, very loudly:
“YOU WHORE! YOU FUCKING WHORE! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! WHORE!”
Oh, god, I thought. I was very close to my home. What if she really did know where I live? What was she planning on doing? Burning McCain in effigy? Puking in my yard?
I practically dragged the Corgi down the street. There was an ominous silence behind me. Then I heard:
“IT’S A NEW WORLD ORDER!”
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oh sweet Jesus, Jennifer, that’s awesome. great to see your first post.
Deron, I happened to click Ms. Jennifer’s name and happened to discover this is not her first post. An accidental happening on my part. I rarely happen to do such.
Seems she has been here a few times before, back in 2005. I first learned of the ‘flock in 2007, so Ms. Jennifer predates me. (As for my expressed desire to read all the archives, beginning to end, I have failed to live up to that self-imposed task, not that anyone might remember everything–Ms. Ryan’s memory notwithstanding.)
Deron, three years back is eons, yes?
Welcome back, Jennifer!
yes, very true Rick. I offered to Jennifer recently to post again at clusterflock. I love her blog, Felt Up and I am very pleased to see this ‘first post’ since I talked with her about posting again. she is the best.
Felt up is now on my feed. Thanks a bundle.
Deron, I’m finally going to make good on your offer to cross-post Felt Up w/ Clusterflock. More posts coming soon!
Bring it! I can’t wait to see!
perfect!
this is awesome. yes, please post more. Felt Up is fabulous.
Oh, Jennifer, this is great. This is exactly why I belong in Austin. More, please.
I KNEW IT!
This is wonderful.