March 11, 2009
A better paperclip
by Art. Lebedev Studio (via)
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comments:
- SC: I assumed Hopper was playing Hopper but nope he’s playing Bishofberger. Yeah, the script probably says...
- Phil Bebbington: Just like me, always turn up after the damn party is over! Still, it woke me up and I’m glad...
- Phil Bebbington: There is no set of just the towers, the American base set contains all those I have shown. Daryl,...
- Ryan Schwartz: I used to play in a mounted band (on horseback) every summer for the Milwaukee Circus Parade and we...
- Sheila Ryan: Just now got back to imagining “a meat-eating theropod with a large hump.” Tump me running.
- Deron Bauman: everything I needed to learn, I learned in revisionist history.
- Sheila Ryan: And concavenator my anus.
- Sheila Ryan: What I learned, I learned. Quit messing with what’s what.
- Sheila Ryan: Tump my tutu. Triceratops rocks, and God shed his grace on thee.
- Sheila Ryan: Oh, dang. Michael? Did I just embarrass you? Oh. Suzette? Did Michael embarrass you? I haven’t met...
- Jon Williams: touche!
- Deron Bauman: Uranus.
- Sheila Ryan: Deron, I really need a couple of those bistec tacos with the cilantro and onion and that...
- Jon Williams: You’ll pry Pluto’s planetary status from the far reaches of my cold, dead outer Solar...
- Suzette: Hi Mike…I am so embarrassed. Not really…it still sort of looks like tomato if you look quickly...
A shit paperclip.
This is a paperclip designed by someone who doesn’t use them and has no idea how they work.
you’ve got strong opinions, Dan.
It’s dang purty.
We all have our tipping points, Deron. If I ever saw somebody trying to fuck with No. 2 pencils, I think I would lose my shit.
the pencils I could never work with were those big chief pencils in elementary school. I know they were supposed to be useful for our tiny hands but they just felt clunky to me.
How do you stand on Big Chief Tablets, Deron?
I always felt faintly insulted by the nasty, ever-so-slightly greasy ruled paper.
What I hate are those butterfly paper clips. What the fuck are those for? Have you ever gotten any papers to stick together using one of those things?
the space between the lines was too big, wasn’t it, Sheila? I mean, sign me up for college ruled and a slim pencil any day. big chief my ass.
Big Chief, my ass. Yeah! And the same goes for butterfly paper clips!
Rusted butterfly paper clips are the worst. Archivists find those all the time.
And dead rubber bands split into segments. They adhere to paper but you can peel them off if you’re not squeamish.
FUCK bad office supplies, man! Remember when a Swingline stapler was something you could COUNT on. Nowadays they jam about every third staple, IF you can get ‘em to even punch through the two sheets you’re trying to put together.
Oh, RIck, you anticipated my stapler rant!
IF you can manage not to prong your finger!
Packing/mailing tape rolls and dispensers. Grrrrr.
I thought my head was going to explode this morning trying to use one of the manager’s dirty mouse. Honestly, you could move the mouse and the cursor would go the opposite direction I practically ripped it off the machine and tossed it in the can. The manager said, “you think that wire’s salvageable?” I said, “only if I wrap it around your NECK.” I’ve been up to my ears with hardware shit, seems like I’ve been doing nothing but messing with computers FOR DAYS. If they don’t commit me soon I’m going to be very dangerous. I’m a ticking bomb I tell you.
Dirty mouse. Grimy. Office. Furniture. “Office furniture.”
Metal supply cabinets stocked with sad useless remnants of times too recent to inspire nostalgia.
You are a ticking bomb, Rick. And I am a powder keg.
Metal paper clips can eat a dick. The only thing they are good for is straightening and then bending into some other context-driven shape.
The one pictured here is a very nice looking object. I’d like it in some sort of reasonably inert plastic.
I had a job at the University of Miami wherein I was called upon to unjam several staplers, several times an hour. I had a pair of pliers for it.
Most office supplies are made of concentrated melancholy.
Aaron said, “Most office supplies are made of concentrated melancholy.”
I hold strong opinions but they don’t hold me.
Thus I win.
Staplers – today we had a long reach stapler that wouldn’t punch through more than 5 sheets and a standard reach stapler that would deal with quantity but had no reach. Seems I have to buy the third office stapler, the one that deals with quantity and reach.
I’m not angry, just at a loss.
I do like the jumbo paperclips – they seem good for many things. I bring them home sure that I have a use for them. I’m still looking and won’t be put off.
Phil said, “I’m not angry, just at a loss.”
Mind you, those binder clips I like; it’s the damned butterfly paper clips that make my blood boil.
By the way, Amazon designates such items “Clips, Clamps & Rings”. Is it just me or . . . ?
As a brit, I have no idea what a binder clip or a butterfly Clip is! But I suspect they might make my blood boil.
Yikes, Phil, just when I’d mastered this A4 and A3 paper business, you mean y’all don’t speak of binder clips (or clamps) — or butterfly clips?
Nope! It’s like a a foreign bloody language and I order in the damn things for the organisation I work for – yes, I’m that important!
But are most of your office supplies, like ours, made of concentrated melancholy?
Oh, naturally! I dribble and drool over office supply catalogues like the rest – and find myself in office supply stores buying items I don’t need just like everyone else.
Speaking of the catalogues – I do find it necessary to bury my face in them – ever since I was a kind I have been seduced by the smell.
[...] would appear that English and American terms for the Office & School Supplies designated for the benefit of US Amazon customers as Clips, [...]
Wouldn’t it be grand to run an old-time stationery store (if it broke even)? Pens, pencils, tablets, paper, etc.
By the way, according to the Wild Tchoupitalis (spelling?) “Big Chief got a golden crown.”
Cooper, I will be in Oak Park (Illinois) tomorrow. May I pick up anything for you when I stop by Pieritz Bros.?
Oh, and — Tchoupitoulas. Close. The Wild Tchoupitoulas.
Iko iko, dude.
I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill
On Blueberry Hill
Where I found you