31 thoughts on “A better paperclip

  1. Dan Smalley

    A shit paperclip.

    This is a paperclip designed by someone who doesn’t use them and has no idea how they work.

  2. Deron Bauman

    the pencils I could never work with were those big chief pencils in elementary school. I know they were supposed to be useful for our tiny hands but they just felt clunky to me.

  3. Sheila Ryan

    How do you stand on Big Chief Tablets, Deron?

    I always felt faintly insulted by the nasty, ever-so-slightly greasy ruled paper.

  4. India

    What I hate are those butterfly paper clips. What the fuck are those for? Have you ever gotten any papers to stick together using one of those things?

  5. Sheila Ryan

    Big Chief, my ass. Yeah! And the same goes for butterfly paper clips!

    Rusted butterfly paper clips are the worst. Archivists find those all the time.

    And dead rubber bands split into segments. They adhere to paper but you can peel them off if you’re not squeamish.

  6. Rick Neece

    FUCK bad office supplies, man! Remember when a Swingline stapler was something you could COUNT on. Nowadays they jam about every third staple, IF you can get ’em to even punch through the two sheets you’re trying to put together.

  7. Rick Neece

    I thought my head was going to explode this morning trying to use one of the manager’s dirty mouse. Honestly, you could move the mouse and the cursor would go the opposite direction I practically ripped it off the machine and tossed it in the can. The manager said, “you think that wire’s salvageable?” I said, “only if I wrap it around your NECK.” I’ve been up to my ears with hardware shit, seems like I’ve been doing nothing but messing with computers FOR DAYS. If they don’t commit me soon I’m going to be very dangerous. I’m a ticking bomb I tell you.

  8. Sheila Ryan

    Dirty mouse. Grimy. Office. Furniture. “Office furniture.”

    Metal supply cabinets stocked with sad useless remnants of times too recent to inspire nostalgia.

    You are a ticking bomb, Rick. And I am a powder keg.

  9. Aaron Winslow

    Metal paper clips can eat a dick. The only thing they are good for is straightening and then bending into some other context-driven shape.

    The one pictured here is a very nice looking object. I’d like it in some sort of reasonably inert plastic.

    I had a job at the University of Miami wherein I was called upon to unjam several staplers, several times an hour. I had a pair of pliers for it.

    Most office supplies are made of concentrated melancholy.

  10. Phil Bebbington

    Staplers – today we had a long reach stapler that wouldn’t punch through more than 5 sheets and a standard reach stapler that would deal with quantity but had no reach. Seems I have to buy the third office stapler, the one that deals with quantity and reach.

    I’m not angry, just at a loss.

  11. Phil Bebbington

    I do like the jumbo paperclips – they seem good for many things. I bring them home sure that I have a use for them. I’m still looking and won’t be put off.

  12. Sheila Ryan

    Mind you, those binder clips I like; it’s the damned butterfly paper clips that make my blood boil.

    By the way, Amazon designates such items “Clips, Clamps & Rings”. Is it just me or . . . ?

  13. Sheila Ryan

    Yikes, Phil, just when I’d mastered this A4 and A3 paper business, you mean y’all don’t speak of binder clips (or clamps) — or butterfly clips?

  14. Phil Bebbington

    Oh, naturally! I dribble and drool over office supply catalogues like the rest – and find myself in office supply stores buying items I don’t need just like everyone else.

    Speaking of the catalogues – I do find it necessary to bury my face in them – ever since I was a kind I have been seduced by the smell.

  15. Pingback: Of binder and butterfly clips : clusterflock

  16. Cooper Renner

    Wouldn’t it be grand to run an old-time stationery store (if it broke even)? Pens, pencils, tablets, paper, etc.

    By the way, according to the Wild Tchoupitalis (spelling?) “Big Chief got a golden crown.”

  17. Sheila Ryan

    Cooper, I will be in Oak Park (Illinois) tomorrow. May I pick up anything for you when I stop by Pieritz Bros.?

    Oh, and — Tchoupitoulas. Close. The Wild Tchoupitoulas.

    Iko iko, dude.

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