President Norris

Chuck Norris wants to be President of Texas, y’all.

“I may run for president of Texas,” Norris wrote Monday in a column posted at WorldNetDaily. “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

The actor claimed “thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation” and said that if states decide to secede from the union, that Texas would lead the way.

“Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we’d do if the going got rough in America,” Norris wrote.

12 thoughts on “President Norris

  1. Cindy Scroggins

    I saw this news item a couple of days ago and made the mistake of following links to Amazon reviews of Norris’s book, Black Belt Patriotism.

    I’ve yet to recover.

  2. Dave Vogt

    No, Aaron, you misheard. It’s Bawls that he’s made of. Melancholy and cleverly marketed energy beverages are his primary constituent parts.

    Oh, and his beard.

  3. Cooper Renner

    I can easily imagine 51% of Texas voters voting for Norris. (And yes, I’m a resident of Texas, so I can opine on this.) Remember where W launched his career.

  4. Doc

    ab * so * fuckin * lute * ly hilarious.

    though if i were forced to put actual money down on the odds at Ceasar’s I am reasonably sure I could still get $8 for $5 on California not only seceding first, but doing so and no one being the wiser for say a year or so….

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