April 2, 2009
Meet the Flockers: Kelsey Parker
If you and I met without the reach of the Internet, you’d probably think I laugh too much.
You might even think I’m not smart. Then I’d ask you questions, so many of those questions that people don’t ask when they first meet. I want to know what keeps you up at night. I want to hear why your sister doesn’t call anymore. You’d have to stop me by saying, —Please, no more dissecting me. Please.
It’s just that my dad raised me this way, to ask questions. And he’s the only person I can’t find a way to investigate. Every question falls flat.
So you’d turn the flood lamp on me …and I’d answer. Any question. I’d give you so much backstory, you’d doubt if we’ll ever get to the point. But we do. I do. After a single conversation, you’d know I grew up in the 80s, just across the freeway from an international airport and drive-in theatre, with two parents, two sisters, and a dog. By the late 90s, I’d accrued two more parents, three brothers, and two smuggled sea turtles, but life wasn’t all it was set up to be. You’d interrupt me there, thinking we could use a drink. But I’d promise you, this story ends well. It’s now ten years later, and every hardship had a lesson. Every mistake had its purpose.
These days I live above a chocolate shop in the Haight of San Francisco, with twelve neighbors and a rabbit. When it’s dry, I bike downtown to work for an education nonprofit and lunch out on the bay. When it’s not, I melt into crowded trains and one tenth-floor cubicle until something or someone reminds me to leave. And on weekends, I hike up Twin Peaks and throw down rye whiskeys. It’s a simple life, but it makes me happy. Sometimes I like to show you how I feel, but mostly I’ll just tell you.
Maybe we don’t have much in common or maybe we do, but we’re friends after this.
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Excellent. Welcome, Kelsey. It’s about time.
Welcome, welcome! I’m so happy you’re here.
Also, I think you’re the flocker closest to me geographically. We can have west coast Clusterflockcocktails.
That description of you makes me fascinated with you. Feel free to dissect me at any point.
Michael, between you and the NYCers, I am just itching to move back to one of the coasts.
awesome! welcome.
Oh, Kelsey
This is beautiful. I only know your voice from an afternoon we spent together talking over a book. I would like to believe I know you from that. I know I don’t. Tell me about the origami bunnies, Kelsey. Tell me, again, about the bunnies.
Welcome, welcome. Come here and speak, you have a fine voice. Your voice will be heard,.
Andrew, until now it was just me and Amanda out here, on the west coast, right?
You know, someone ought to make a map showing where everybody is. I mean in general, of course, I’m not suggesting we all have GPS devices implanted into our bodies to provide real time tracking…
Thanks everyone, especially Deron. And Michael, yes! Did I hear you say you won’t make Clusterflockstock? If it turns out I can’t make it either, let’s you and me meet for cocktails.
Somewhat true, Michael. I spent a good deal of last year in San Luis Obispo working at a winery as a cellar rat. I could get the job again and have half a mind to do so.
Hey Kelsey, glad to see you on here all official-like. Looking forward to seeing more!
Does that job come with free wine?
San Luis Obispo, winery…talk about quintessential Californian. Did you surf?
Kelsey, it makes me sad to say that I will, most likely, not be attending Clusterflockstock. I would feel much better if we could have a mini-clusterflockstock instead. In fact, I’ll be in the East Bay the following weekend for my 10 year high school reunion. We can get cocktails that night as I’m searching for a good excuse not to go.
Welcome, Kelsey!!
It did come with free wine, but not a ton. And I didn’t surf, I was working the harvest which roughly translates into 80 hour work weeks. Had I stayed longer I am sure I would have.
And now that I think about it, that was two years ago. Sheesh. Time flies.
This conversation with Andrew about California reminds me that at one point we had talked about interviewing Clusterflockers…we should do that.
We’ve got Meet/See the flockers…how about a ‘get to know the flockers’ (or something more clever)?
clusterflock interviews clusterflock?
yes. I’m half imagining an interview chain – you interview Andrew who then interviews Kelsey…
I don’t know how decide the order…I swear we discussed this once. Maybe it was a dream.
Happy to have you here, Kelsey. I recall hearing your voice one afternoon just before I was abruptly pulled away.
Lucy went to Dublin for the day, I think; otherwise I bet she’d greet ye here and now. Maybe she’ll extend a belated welcome in exchange for a belated birthday greeting.
clusterflock interviews clusterflock. Hmmmnh. Random matching of interviewer and subject?
P.S. Kelsey, I just bought a flood lamp. Seriously. 1365 lumens. An “ultra-bright halogen beam”. Rubber bezel and handle! And: a DC plug for car-charging and power.
So. Where shall we meet?
I was thinking of conducting interviews at clusterflockstock. Dresser has mentioned to me that we shouldnt be so busy documenting that we forget to have fun though. so now I am paralyzed by fear. (Dresser usually has this effect on women.)
Andrew should move out here, then there’d be four of us, and we could begin to subtly turn clusterflock against itself, those in texas caught in the middle of an epic coastal battle.
also, welcome. you’ll never want to leave oncet you set up shop.
Amanda, next time you’re up north we should start plotting.
of course! I was planning on talking to you about this weekend, but it turns out I’m not going to San Fran after all.
I am seeing Christopher Hitchins in a debate, though!
. . . those in texas caught in the middle of an epic coastal battle . . . And, waiting in the wings, the sly and subtle Midwesterners.
(Still not sure whether Pittsburgh counts as Far Eastern Midwest, so I’m not sure where Elizabeth Perry comes into play.)
And then there are the Foreigners.
Super late to the party here, but thanks again for the newest welcomes! Sheila, if I can make it to the Clusterflockstock, you bring it. At the very least, those lamps make for pretty photos.
If we start Clusterflock v. Clusterflock interviews, I hope we can think up some good Lipton-like questions to ask at the end. I’m a sucker for custom.
Girl, that pitcher liked to make me spit laughing!
I love it that the photo was solicited for addition to a group pool called colander-on-head \ scolapastaintesta. I was pretty excited the other night when I was asked if a photo I’d taken might be included in the Animales muertos pool.
Searching on colander leads to some fine Flickr results, by the way.
I am delighted, Kelsey. Now I am no longer the newbie! Welcome!
Welcome, Kelsey. It was great to meet you at book club… I look forward to hearing more.
Sheila: Pittsburgh doesn’t think it’s Midwestern, and the Easterners don’t think we belong to them. We are an Appalachian city, I guess – the provincial cousins.
Hi Kelsey! Welcome to town. I don’t have any brownies, but can I borrow a cup of sugar?
Sheila– I can pack a colander for the ‘stock if your aspirations are to join my ranks with the scolapastaintesta.
Lucy– if you’re what a newbie looks like, I’m going to have to step up my game here…
And Mary– what’s yours is mine!
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And by the way: I totally read this at the time, but how did I not welcome you?? What a dick I am.
So, ya know, welcome, Kelsey. Welcome.