May 13, 2009


Dear clusterflock,

Dear clustermen,

Dear clusterguys,

If you have a cock/dick/penis . . . Johnson . . . this post is for you.

“I count myself thankful I no longer have mine,” said Rick.

Wait. No. Not right. Cooper? Cooper? Can you help me?

The question: skinned or not?

Cooper suggested I take what he called a census. We were talking, and he suggested I take a census.

We were talking about the mid-twentieth-century American vogue for what one might call male genital mutilation, a vogue that cut (so to speak) across lines of ‘race, color, or creed’. Talking about its prevalence in America and about how prevalent it still might be.

Discuss.

comments

29 Responses to “Dear clusterflock,”

  1. Sheila Ryan on May 13th, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Renner put me up to this. He egged me on.

  2. Andrew Simone on May 13th, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    Much like my theology, I am quite Jewish on this point.

  3. Cooper Renner on May 13th, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    Hinh hinh. I thought she’d take the census at Clusterflockstock.

  4. Tony Renner on May 13th, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    i know that the first comment doesn’t have anything to do with this poem but it’s kinda crazy that my name is renner and i posted a poem about eggs today….

    Eggs! No!

    He had already decided that the eggs
    had to go.
    Smooth.
    Round.
    White.
    Unbearable.

  5. chris on May 13th, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    I’m mutilated.

    Though there is some argument that Male Genital Mutilation (or, euphemistically, “circumcision”) might prevent AIDS transmission from female to male, this is really only an issue in un-developed countries. Plus, do you know what works better than infant-torture? Sex education and condoms.

    I’ve wondered why circumcision became so popular in America and not, say, most of Europe, regardless of religion or cultural affiliation, and a lot of the reason, I think is a desire to have a “normal looking” penis (though I’d argue that NOT mutilating your baby would be much more “normal”). Still it’s like a feedback loop. The norm in America is to be circumcised, therefore parents circumcise their babies reinforcing the norm. I wonder if this is still true.

    I strongly recommend the episode of Penn and Teller’s Bullshit where they call out the whole institution of torturing infants in order to sculpt their penises into something that is less sensitive.

    There are also lots of products out their to replace lost foreskin. Here’s one that I recently came across (NSFW!) http://manhood.mb.ca/ though I’ve seen others that use weights. I don’t think I’d use these products, but damn if I’m not still upset about having been circumcised!!

  6. chris on May 13th, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    ps. This post will probably ensure that “cake farts” is no longer the top search to get to clusterflock, but rather “foreskin” or something else penis related.

  7. Dave Vogt on May 14th, 2009 at 12:26 am

    That particular circumference has been long since navigated. Remind me that I should share a few thoughts on this matter.

  8. Phil Bebbington on May 14th, 2009 at 3:24 am

    I am very pleased to announce that I have never been tampered with – well, not with a scalpel anyway – I always remember at school in the 60s it was very common. Most of my friends seemed to have been mutilated. Not sure how I got away with it!

    I am very thankful though, I have grown very attached to mine –boom! boom!

  9. Rick Neece on May 14th, 2009 at 4:33 am

    Cut.

  10. Phil Bebbington on May 14th, 2009 at 4:47 am

    I assume at some stage we will have a definitive list of haves and have nots!

  11. Mark on May 14th, 2009 at 4:54 am

    Circumcised and love it:) had it done at 26…

  12. Michael Grant Smith on May 14th, 2009 at 5:07 am

    My parents were really broke when I was born so I’ve had mine done in installments.

    I’ll have to check my records but I think I still have five years to go.

    Great topic. I never get tired of looking at, talking about, or contemplating my penis.

  13. Phil Bebbington on May 14th, 2009 at 5:20 am

    It’s not often I get the chance to handle mine for a legitimate reason, or at least a reason I am prepared to share.

    Thank you, Sheila, or was it Cooper, no, I don’t call my penis Sheila or Cooper, I meant for asking the question. I was rather worried it might move on to size!

  14. Rick Neece on May 14th, 2009 at 8:30 am

    Have a cousin who calls his “Charmin.” (As in, “Please don’t squeeze the…”)

    Used to say “If Charmin needs squeezin’, I’ll squeeze it myself.”

  15. Jonathan McNicol on May 14th, 2009 at 9:20 am

    Mutilated. And not at all Jewish. If I ever have a son, he will be left fully intact, thank you very much.

    And my, uhh, parts in that area are known as Larry, Darryl, and Darryl. It’s getting to be that not many people remember the reference, which is too bad.

  16. Phil Bebbington on May 14th, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Am I a lone voice here? Will I have to stand up for the uncut male?

  17. Phil Bebbington on May 14th, 2009 at 9:44 am

    . . . . . and for the record, mine does not have a name.

  18. Jonathan McNicol on May 14th, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Phil, he has a name. You must just not’ve been introduced yet…

  19. Phil Bebbington on May 14th, 2009 at 9:50 am

    Jonathan, does someone else have to do the introduction? Perhaps I was drunk or sleeping when it happened – perhaps only the cut ones have names. There must be a need to address something you are about to hack with a blade.

    Mine has led a quite life, the extent of any assault probably being those teen years.

  20. Rick Neece on May 14th, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Hey, everybody! Let’s name Phil’s Johnson!

  21. Phil Bebbington on May 14th, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Damn, Rick – will I need to get it tattooed? If it has a name will I have to talk to it? I really don’t want to do that – what if someone asks me who I’m talking to?

  22. dear clusterflock : clusterflock on May 14th, 2009 at 11:42 am

    [...] What should Phil Bebbington’s one-eyed wonder worm be called? We need good names here, people. And, in case it makes a difference name-wise, said member is fully intact. [...]

  23. Jonathan McNicol on May 14th, 2009 at 11:43 am

    All taken care of, Rick.

  24. Rick Neece on May 14th, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Why thank you Jonathan. I should have thought to put it on the front page myself. Brilliant!

  25. From the vomitorium | for Jonathan : clusterflock on May 14th, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    [...] Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, perhaps? [...]

  26. range on May 14th, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Oh, I thought we were talking about nullos.

  27. Cindy Scroggins on May 14th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Phil, there’s your name–Nullo!

  28. Tally on May 14th, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    I was skinned, cut, mutilated, walking around with a naked penis. Then I restored my foreskin so now I have a hoody, a covering, a new playtoy!

    Me and Tally are so much happier being restored. I think my wife is getting jealous.

  29. Gabriel Orgrease on May 15th, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Welcome to Jamaica and Have a Nice Day

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