Yes, I still have a land line because I (a) hate talking over a mobile-to-mobile connection, (b) often forget to charge my cell phone (because I keep the ringer turned off, because I have no intention of answering it anyway), and (c) always have a vague fear of going over my cheap-ass plan’s weekday minute limit.

You know how your grandma would always try to get you off the phone right away, because telephone calls are very expensive? That’s me on a cell phone. I’m, like, “Okay, are we done? . . . Now? How about now? . . . Okay, bye.” I especially hate it when anybody calls me on my mobile and I’m sitting right next to the real phone. Usually I just don’t answer, because I know I’ll be bitchy if I pick up, and I’d rather call back from the land line. The only time I use my mobile from the house is if it’s long distance, since that’s free. Even then, sometimes I use the land line and fork over the money to Working Assets.

If I got rid of the land line, I wouldn’t save enough to upgrade to a smartphone, so I’m sticking with two dumb ones. In the meantime, I’m starting to give out my Google Voice number instead of my mobile number. It rings at both phones, so if I happen to be at home, I can just pick up on the land line.

For years, my land line would get a few calls a month for Brooklyn Family Court. People would leave messages about their cases, somehow not noticing my obviously-not-family-court answering machine message.* The calls have stopped, though, so they must have changed their number or corrected the typo or something.

My friends in San Mateo figured out, over time, that the previous owner of their land line must have been a drug dealer. That was fun.

* Yes, I also still have an answering machine. Why the fuck should I pay Verizon a monthly fee for voice mail, when I can pay for a machine once every ten years?

On a related note: We have an alarm clock next to our bed that never gets used (as we both use our phones for such things). It was actually unplugged for about ten days recently, and I’m not sure either of us noticed. Well, we must’ve eventually noticed. But you get my point.

On a note related to the previously related note: I wear a wristwatch for no reason other than that I like it as an accessory, Alisia bought it for me, and it feels nice on my arm (which might be part of its being a nice accessory). But the only time I ever look at it to find out the time is when I can’t find my phone.

MGS says, “I’ll connect you.” -click-