comments

1. Cindy Scroggins on June 8th, 2009 at 9:44 am

   I got two words for you: Fiber.

2. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 9:49 am

   Types one and two are not pleasant at all and wholly unsatisfying!

3. Cindy Scroggins on June 8th, 2009 at 9:50 am

   Oh, I have to disagree with you on that one, Phil. Type 1 is most unsatisfying, but there’s something to be said for Type 2.

4. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 9:52 am

   Okay, Cindy. Let me have another look at the chart – so we are agreed that type one is not nice and can be painful.

   I’ll be back.

5. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 9:55 am

   Okay, I’m not saying that I’d be dissatisfied with type 2, but, if we are talking Poop Heaven I’d have to plump for type 3 or 4 with the preference towards the higher numbers rather than the lower ones.

   Type 3 would be perfect – a little effort but nothing that will upset and a high degree of satisfaction. Not that I have thought about it a lot or anything like that.

6. Cindy Scroggins on June 8th, 2009 at 10:08 am

   I admit to having had very few Type 2s, and most of those were in my wilder youth. But, you know, there’s something to be said for a very large, textured extrusion on an occasional basis. I mean, we don’t want to get bored, do we?

7. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 10:13 am

   I do think it important that there be enough effort to make it worth ones while, but, not to the point that your ears pop!

8. Cindy Scroggins on June 8th, 2009 at 10:17 am

   This must be one of those areas where American grit comes into play.

9. Rick Neece on June 8th, 2009 at 10:27 am

   6:07 am. Type 4 on the Bristol. 7:34 second visit, again Type 4.

10. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Rick – I like your typology, but, twice in the same day. Holy cow! Is that standard?

    We need to do a regularity survey. I feel like I may be missing out here.

11. Deron Bauman on June 8th, 2009 at 11:16 am

    I poop three or four times a day.

12. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 11:35 am

    “Slick as goose shit.”

13. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Phil, you know how exuberant we Americans are. We just don’t have the reserve of you English.

14. Cindy Scroggins on June 8th, 2009 at 11:38 am

    I generally poop once a day, most commonly a #4. Some days I poop more than once.

    I would say that I have a very satisfying poop life.

15. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 11:43 am

    I work in spurts generally. Poop every day for 3 (only once a day for gods sake!) then may get 2 or 3 days without a poop. Generally a type 3 or 4. If I ever venture down the type 1 route I get most distressed.

16. Amanda Mae Meyncke on June 8th, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Deron what the hell are you eating that you poop 4 times a day?

17. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Phil, do you say “I’m so sorry I have to do this”?

18. Phil Bebbington. on June 8th, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Sheila, words are never needed when it’s time for poopin’.

19. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    Words may not be needed, but they can enhance the experience.

    I recite soliloquies from Shakespeare.

20. Cindy Scroggins on June 8th, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    Deron can’t answer because he’s over at my house, delivering the goose head to Daryl and Mia.

    He introduced himself to Mia by pointing out that he is the one who sang the poop song she so enjoyed.

    I’m not there. I’m at work. I just know these things.

21. Kelsey Parker on June 8th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Hey Deron, remember when I told you about my friend with the daily poop reports? Yeah.

22. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Cindy. Just knowing that the Poop song is being sung is enough. You don’t need to hear it. After all, I’m sure it is imprinted on your psyche anyway.

23. Rick Neece on June 8th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Ordinarily, I’m a once a day guy. Recently, multiple poops a day, somtimes 7 on the Bristol. I was chalking it up to nerves.

24. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Rick. Now we don’t want you with IBS do we – vodka enemas may be the only answer.

    I have no idea where I got that from, but, I shall leave it!

25. Kelsey Parker on June 8th, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    You know, I was just wondering… and I think this could be a safe place to ask.

    Y’all, why do some poops float?

26. Cindy Scroggins on June 8th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    I know this one!! Floaters are caused by the presence of too much fat/oil in the diet.

27. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    Phil, have you been clicking through all those colonic irrigation ads on your Gmail again?

28. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Hell, Sheila. If I don’t click through who will – I always enjoy the DIY ones, a length of pipe and a funnel.

29. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Vodka or gin, Phil?

30. Phil Bebbington on June 8th, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Vodka I think – that Juniper after-taste can be a tad unpleasant.

31. Amy Mabli on June 8th, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Gin, please. Rim it with a little vermouth, then the gin, then an olive.

32. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    Amy: Black olive, Greek olive, bleu cheese-stuffed olive? Does it matter?

    Shaken? Or stirred?

33. Amy Mabli on June 8th, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    I love all olives.
    Shaken!

34. Sheila Ryan on June 8th, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    Shake it, baby!

    Olives are the Fruit of Paradise!

35. Kathy Hilen-Smith on June 8th, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    There is something seriously wrong here.

36. Rick Neece on June 9th, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    Amy said, “Rim it with a little vermouth.”

    I’m just sayin’ Amy said it.

    Carry on.

37. Assassin Joe on December 14th, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Would the farts emitted after a sodium bicarbonate enema smell less foul? How could we safely add fragrant value to our emissions? Especially the ones that would attract the opposite sex! Pweepp! and she is all over me..

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