Well, Andrew, perhaps Clusterflock could use our ability to answer 19th Century questions as a little sideline – we now have a bank of experts, people could drop by to pose their question.
Cindy could be moderator – if she thinks it not worthy of our efforts she can despatch them in whatever way she feels fit.
Sheila, this is exactly what I was thinking of – if dumb assed people come asking dumb assed questions – they need both barrels. After all we don’t want them coming back.
I think that Cindy moderating with a distinct lack of moderation would be perfect!
speaking of dumb-ass questions, I started a new job today, and had to take this “test”. I felt like I was in Bladerunner. Here’s some of the questions (that I was to strongly agree or disagree to):
You worry more than most of your coworkers.
You remain cheerful even in the most difficult situations.
You have trouble controlling your temper when things go poorly at work.
At times you are tempted to take things that do not belong to you, perhaps because you do not have the money to buy them.
Everyone slacks-off a little when the boss is out.
If given the choice, you would elect to work in a job that allowed you to do things for other people.
It’s easy to get away with stealing at work because most employers look the other way when it occurs.
You only do things that are safe.
How often have you found yourself daydreaming or thinking about things at work that are completely unrelated to your job?
Most people will take a few extra minutes for lunch, if they think they can get away with it.
You need a job with lots of variety or you will get bored quickly.
Almost everyone takes a day off every now and then by calling in sick.
Rules and regulations that are meant to make work more efficient, usually end up doing just the opposite.
Few employees get paid what they are really worth.
If a supervisor becomes too “bossy”, you are likely to do just the opposite of what you are asked to do.
I peppered my responses with a few red flags to see what would happen.
Did they really expect you to speak from the heart to that barrel load of hog shit? Of course there are many truths in there – but they ave always seemed like unspoken truths.
The people at the bottom of the food chain have always held all the power. They do all the shit jobs, so a work to rule mentality really fucks with the bosses heads.
I am effectively pond life at work, which I like as I have nothing to lose and I make sure they know it.
i think it was more of a sarcasm test, whether you could resist the temptation to be snarky, which I can’t. More than anything I found the test very suggestive, gave me new ideas about what I could be doing with my time at work.
Amy, you seem my type of gal! I had a run in with a man friend of a neighbour years back. He insisted on using our drive to park his car. Until the night I wedged a 6″ nail under each wheel . . . . . oddly I never saw his car again.
I had to take a similar test last year. I think the key to passing it was in an article I had read prior to sitting down. It advised answering all the questions as if your employer were your parents. Your employer wants to feel like they are the benevolent guidance that a paternal relationship is supposed to be. So, a little minor cheating is okay, but big stuff like resentment and letting problems fester isn’t. I do believe I passed with flying colors. I can also alphabetize and add without a calculator. Note to employers: I’m available!
its a producer job, at Scholastic, but it’s freelance so I had to go through Adecco, who are the ones that made me take this test. So i think all that will happen is that I will never get a job through them again which I dont think i would want to.
I am not entirely sure if she is aware of clusterflock or the *ahem* little happening during clusterflockstock.
Andrew, had you been unable to make the clusterflockstock scene, I know you would have been right there with us.
did you give her Cindy’s contact information?
No, but I thought about it.
Well, Andrew, perhaps Clusterflock could use our ability to answer 19th Century questions as a little sideline – we now have a bank of experts, people could drop by to pose their question.
Cindy could be moderator – if she thinks it not worthy of our efforts she can despatch them in whatever way she feels fit.
What do you think, Cindy?
Fuck all y’all.
Cindy, how can you act as moderator if you give way to such immoderate language?
Sheila, this is exactly what I was thinking of – if dumb assed people come asking dumb assed questions – they need both barrels. After all we don’t want them coming back.
I think that Cindy moderating with a distinct lack of moderation would be perfect!
Pinche puto cabron.
Cindy, you forgot pendejo.
Chingada.
speaking of dumb-ass questions, I started a new job today, and had to take this “test”. I felt like I was in Bladerunner. Here’s some of the questions (that I was to strongly agree or disagree to):
You worry more than most of your coworkers.
You remain cheerful even in the most difficult situations.
You have trouble controlling your temper when things go poorly at work.
At times you are tempted to take things that do not belong to you, perhaps because you do not have the money to buy them.
Everyone slacks-off a little when the boss is out.
If given the choice, you would elect to work in a job that allowed you to do things for other people.
It’s easy to get away with stealing at work because most employers look the other way when it occurs.
You only do things that are safe.
How often have you found yourself daydreaming or thinking about things at work that are completely unrelated to your job?
Most people will take a few extra minutes for lunch, if they think they can get away with it.
You need a job with lots of variety or you will get bored quickly.
Almost everyone takes a day off every now and then by calling in sick.
Rules and regulations that are meant to make work more efficient, usually end up doing just the opposite.
Few employees get paid what they are really worth.
If a supervisor becomes too “bossy”, you are likely to do just the opposite of what you are asked to do.
I peppered my responses with a few red flags to see what would happen.
Red Flag:
“Everyone slacks-off a little when the boss is out.”
I strongly agree.
Did they really expect you to speak from the heart to that barrel load of hog shit? Of course there are many truths in there – but they ave always seemed like unspoken truths.
The people at the bottom of the food chain have always held all the power. They do all the shit jobs, so a work to rule mentality really fucks with the bosses heads.
I am effectively pond life at work, which I like as I have nothing to lose and I make sure they know it.
i think it was more of a sarcasm test, whether you could resist the temptation to be snarky, which I can’t. More than anything I found the test very suggestive, gave me new ideas about what I could be doing with my time at work.
Ha! I would love to hear how that turns out.
It would make me want to strap a decomposing carcass to the engine of the managers car, or piss in his radiator.
Perhaps that says more about me.
lets see how long it takes before security escorts me to the door…
I’m pretty sure I’d answer “strongly agree” to every question, my eyes getting wider and wider as the test went on.
This makes me even more excited about finding a new job.
Putting razor blades under car door handles can work just as well as pissing in the radiator.
Amy, you seem my type of gal! I had a run in with a man friend of a neighbour years back. He insisted on using our drive to park his car. Until the night I wedged a 6″ nail under each wheel . . . . . oddly I never saw his car again.
Amy, you’re just the type of person they need around here, though the commute might be kind of sucky. The koolaid is delicious.
I had to take a similar test last year. I think the key to passing it was in an article I had read prior to sitting down. It advised answering all the questions as if your employer were your parents. Your employer wants to feel like they are the benevolent guidance that a paternal relationship is supposed to be. So, a little minor cheating is okay, but big stuff like resentment and letting problems fester isn’t. I do believe I passed with flying colors. I can also alphabetize and add without a calculator. Note to employers: I’m available!
oh shit. I hope mine wasn’t pass/fail.
Is it a web-design job, Derek? (I think they’re watching for you to get more and more cheerful as the days pass by and the kids mature into goats.)
The scarier question is, Derek, what were you passing or failing?
its a producer job, at Scholastic, but it’s freelance so I had to go through Adecco, who are the ones that made me take this test. So i think all that will happen is that I will never get a job through them again which I dont think i would want to.
Fuck. No wonder I’ve run out of money. I balk at tests.
Just a few years ago, I was offered a sweet fine job and I (tentatively) accepted, and then the HR dude phoned me about the ‘routine’ drug test.
I could have passed, easy.
But I told him I don’t do drug tests. End of discussion.
Which is one reason I am a virtual pauper today.
I am just a born goat. Stubborn as the day is long.