July 13, 2009
Dear clusterflock:
Do you think Michael Jackson should be part of the 2009 butter sculpture at the Iowa State Fair?
There is still time to cast your vote!
BUTTER SCULPTURE VOTE
Voting closes at 3 p.m. on July 16.We appreciate the input of hundreds of people who have voiced their opinions, both positive and negative, on the issue of including Michael Jackson in the 2009 butter sculpture.
The ongoing discussion has created a lot of, well, ‘churn.’ Since everyone has an opinion about the sculpture, we’ve decided to put it to a vote and let Fairgoers decide.
The concept of the sculpture will be a celebration of the 40th anniversary of Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk on July 20, 1969. In honor of Armstrong’s “giant leap for mankind,” this year’s sculpture will include an astronaut, an American flag and a buttery rendition of the surface of the moon. Depending on the vote, Michael Jackson would be featured in a small side portion of the sculpture as the first pop-star to perfect and popularize choreographed moonwalking.
Do you think Michael Jackson should be part of the 2009 butter sculpture?
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I think there are few things more appropriate.
I have voted in a private online private ballot. No one will ever know that I voted to include Michael Jackson in the butter sculpture. It is just not possible to have a butter sculpture of a moonwalk without including a butter sculpture of the moonwalk. I hope that through the magic of the internet they see this comment and realise what they have to do now. Also, butter sculptors can have nasty hissy fits if they don’t get enough notice to prepare.
I too exercised my franchise and voted YES via private online private ballot.
I am eager to see how the figure of a buttery Michael Jackson might be incorporated into “a small side portion of [a] sculpture” featuring a buttery astronaut, a buttery American flag and a buttery rendition of the surface of moon.
And come August, I may report to y’all live from the buttery Iowa State Fair.
We need you there, Sheila. We will send you flags to you know, wave, while you’re beholding it. And if the vote goes against us, we’ll send you protest banners and stuff. We’ve got to get a group together around this. We all have to exorcise our franchise here. It’s important.
I think we need to plan a Clusterflock Iowa State Fair Field Trip.
Will it look like this? Only a big butter Michael? I’ve seen Big Butter Jesus with my own eyes I’d have to vote against it. Butter is not always a flattering medium.
Kathy, Big Butter Jesus SAVES!
Next time I am up in Madison, Wisconsin, I will pause in the neighboring town of Fitchburg to photograph King Kong (Raa-aa-aar!) Jesus for y’all. He menaces those who drive by the Knights of Columbus Hall.
Meantime, how much you reckon it would cost to commission a nude butter sculpture of myself?
…if only a dollar for all the things I’ve wanted to photoshop in BBJ’s hands that He might thrust them heavenward.
pitchfork, cat litter box, Hersey bar, laundry basket, to some favs
Muffler.
Sent this to my husband, the Iowan, to vote. He already thinks (knows) I am insane and I just gave him the proof. Thanks so much for the enable!
Cece, I do hope your husband votes YES, YES to a buttery moonwalking Michael Jackson.
These things constitute “a scene” to them.
To address Cindy’s request for a Clusterflock Iowa State Fair Field Trip, we can offer up numerous backyards, basements, and hide-a-couches to accommodate the throng of devotees that will undoubtedly choose to descend upon the best State of the 50 (both the land of my birth AND a State in which Ricky and I could be legally wed). We’ve recently been dreaming of a farmhouse in Eastern Iowa to which we might add several out-buildings for our version of the Clusterflock Inn and Day Camp.
The Varied Industries Building at the Iowa State Fair (in which the annual Butter Sculptures are displayed, including the Butter Queen and potentially the Butter Jacko) is an amazing trip back in time. Jarred jellies, robust globe tomatoes, and non-martini-crusted pies of various berries and fruits will be competing for top honors. The Fair is scheduled from August 13-23. For more exciting details, check out http://www.iowastatefair.org. Please.
I voted YES and also subscribed to their newsletter. I don’t generally eat butter so am pleased that there are other uses for it.
Back in February I wandered the highways and by-ways of Iowa for a week and have to say I found the place delightful. I found Winterset particularly nice.
Danny, my Iowans have refused many requests to make a state fair trip. Two hours from their hometown is “too far to drive,” they say. The Washington County Fair, yes. Adorable but tiny. They placate me with Kalona, which does have an excellent antique store in an old church.
They don’t understand why I am fascinated with the state Fair. I keep saying BUT IT’S THE IOWA STATE FAIR!
It’s Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson in a butter sculpture! Keep working on them, Cece.
I will wear them down, Lucy! It has been 18 years, but I have more patience.
Oh, Danny, it simply must happen! You and Rick as hosts in Iowa, with a couple dozen flockers in attendance. I’ll eat a lot of corn.
Deep Fried Corn-on-a-stick.
Rick, I fear that may be a step to far! How about deep fried corn on a fork?
As a note of clarification, I will eat items impaled on pale wood sticks, but the stick must be entirely covered with paper so that I neither see it nor touch it.
We discovered at Clusterflockstock that the lovely Amanda Mae shares my repulsion for untreated pale wood. So, you see, it is normal.
Cindy, is it gender specific – have you any observations in the field of male revulsion for pale untreated wood?
So you are happy to call a stick a stick, just so long as it doesn’t look or feel like a stick?
In fact, Amanda Mae is the only person I have encountered who shares my revulsion, but the fact that she does suggests to me that there might be 10-15 others worldwide with the same reaction. That makes us normal.
Yes, I call it a stick and will use it as a stick, though not happily. I will not touch it. Much depends on what is on the stick. I mean, if it’s a fudgesicle, and I really want a fudgesicle, I will carefully remove the paper and wrap it around the stick myself, then eat it. Of course, I don’t eat the part that is directly next to the stick, but I eat the bulk of it. My preference is to have someone else remove the item from the stick and place it in a bowl. In that case, I will even eat the part that I know has touched the stick, although I am bothered by it. We must face our fears.
If I could only ever eat one food again, it would be on a stick.
Sheila, would that be untreated, white, softwood?
It would not be my first choice in sticks, but I would not turn up my nose at anything on such a stick.
Certainly none of the delicacies available on sticks at the Iowa State Fair, such as:
1. Pickle on-a-stick
2. Pork chop on-a-stick
3. Corn dog
4. Cheese on-a-stick
5. Cajun chicken on-a-stick
6. Sesame chicken on-a-stick
7. Carmel apple
8. German sausage on-a-stick
9. Teriyaki beef on-a-stick
10. Corn on the cob on-a-stick
11. Cotton candy
12. Veggie dog on-a-stick
13. Turkey drumstick
14. Nutty bar
15. Fried pickle on-a-stick
16. Hot bologna on-a-stick
17. Shrimp on-a-stick
18. Chicken on-a-stick
19. Monkey Tails (chocolate covered banana on-a-stick)
20. Taffy on-a-stick
21. Honey on-a-stick
22. Ice cream Wonder Bar
23. Deep fried Snickers bar on-a-stick
24. Deep fried 3 Musketeers bar on-a-stick
25. Deep fried Milky Way bar on-a-stick
26. Deep fried Twinkie on-a-stick
27. Lamb on-a-stick
28. Meatballs on-a-stick
29. Deep fried hoho on-a-stick
30. Fudge Puppy (waffle drenched in chocolate syrup and topped with whipped cream)
31. Chili Dog on-a-stick
32. Funtastick Pork on-a-stick
33. Dutch letters on-a-stick
34. Turkey tenders on-a-stick
35. Deep fried hot dog on-a-stick
36. Chocolate covered cheesecake on-a-stick
37. Potato Lollipop (4 thick slices of russet potato deep fried and on-a-stick with dipping sauces)
38. Pineapple on-a-stick (Fresh pineapple dipped in funnel cake batter and deep fried)
39. Chicken lips on-a-stick (breaded chicken breast smothered with hot sauce, served with blue cheese dressing).
40. Cornbrat on-a-stick (bratwurst dipped in corndog batter)
41. Frozen fudge brownie on-a-stick
42. Ice cream cookie sandwich on-a-stick
43. Rock candy on-a-stick
44. Salad on-a-stick
45. Hard-boiled egg on-a-stick
12. Veggie dog on-a-stick.
Now we’re talking.
33. Dutch letters on-a-stick.
Could an Iowan (or anyone) explain?
Just try catching that veggie dog.
I have spent a while pondering what a Dutch Letter is – thank the lord for Google as my head was about to explode:
Dutch Letters
It would be hard to find anyone living in Iowa for more than a month or two who hasn’t been introduced to Dutch letters, those crispy, flakey, butter pastries filled with almond paste, shaped into an “s,” and covered with large, crunchy sugar crystals. Turns out these addictive treats are available only in Iowa and in Holland at Christmas time. Following generations’-old Dutch family recipes, bakeries in Pella and in Orange City produce the “letters” as well as “sticks” year round and supply them to groceries around the state.
Okay, I want these!
29. Deep fried Ho Ho on a stick.
That’s kind of like Around the World on a stick.
I’ll wear gloves.
Oh Oh OH–can it be those cheap ass gloves that look like somebody cut hand shapes out of a clear laundry bag and ironed the edges together?
For you, Daryl, anything is possible.
I was thinking of thick rubber gloves of the sort used by people cleaning toilets, but now that you mention the odd flat clear gloves, I see that I should go with those.
Dutch letters are ambrosia. They also are available at the bakery in Kalona, the one at the end of the main drag. Get there early, though.
I now dimly recall hearing tell of such things from a friend who lived for a few years in Pella (Iowa).
It is, however, not right to dip bratwurst in corndog batter and serve it up as cornbrat on-a-stick.
I sure hope they’ve not begun doing that at the Wisconsin State Fair.
Danny says the corn-dog-on-a-stick is better known as a Pronto Pup. Seems they aren’t indigenous to Iowa, however.
Tenderloin on a stick?
Maid-Rites on a stick? Sterzing’s Potato Chips on a stick?
Cindy
Occurs to me, the perfect gloves with which a lady might handle wood-besticked foods might be spotless, white-cotton, one-button gloves. I think I have a pair, upstairs, somewhere. I’ll bring them to the fair for you.
Dutch Letters – yes. Dutch Letters on a Stick – no. Dutch Letters are akin to many Danish Pastries of which I am a fan, and able to make. They are vegetarian, however not vegan. I guarantee never to put a Danish pastry on a stick. No, not never, no how.
I regret to report that I will be “out-uh-town” (that is, in South Carolina, quickly followed by the District of Columbia) during the entirety of the Iowa State Fair this year. Gotta pay the mortgage, ya know. Many tears have been shed, but pleez don’t let that stop any one of you from heading to Iowa for this magnificent event.
Now pleez know ye this…Amanda Mae is descending upon Kansas City in September for Ricky’s birthday … so perhaps we could recreate the Iowa State Fair “on a stick” here for any ‘flockers who might care to travel in this direction. Festivities will commence on Thursday, September 10, and will wind down on Tuesday, September 15, one day after the “day”. In the Iowa tradition, backyards, basements and assorted hide-a-couches will be offered up.
I have never known an actual person who could make letters. Several people are tasked to buy them from bakeries when we descend on Washington (Iowa) from Washington (D.C.-ish). One sister goes to Pella, another to Kalona. Then the confections disappear very quickly. My husband and I have actually had tiffs over them. We aren’t kidding, we really get mad at each other over who is scarfing them.
I mean, these things are so good you can’t even believe it. And I know sweets. The problem is they don’t travel well. I’ve tried. So, you all need to go. Just go.
Rick–Oh yes, those white cotton one-button gloves will be fine. I was in love with Julie Andrews when I was twelve, and something about that sordid (me) perfection (her) has stayed with me.
Danny, do you have a good recipe for Dutch letters, stick or no? I’m not likely to ever get to Iowa . . .
Rick (and Danny): Now I would say that a corn dog by definition must be impaled on a stick.
It is the dipping of bratwurst into batter that distresses me.
I did treat myself to a pickle on-a-stick today. But I did not dunk it in batter nor did I fry it.
Dutch Letters recipe with photographic evidence will be found on this site in the very near future.
[...] folks, we tried. After a week of voting, the results of the Iowa State Fair online poll are in. With a margin of [...]
This was one of the best threads ever.
‘Twas. I think I posted the original post from some “Rest Stop” in central Illinois when I was on the lam in the summer of 2009.