July 12, 2009
from the comments
1. Any cold, viscous drink should be drunk through a straw (e.g., milkshake, slurpee, frozen margarita).
2. Non-viscous drinks without ice may never be drunk through a straw.
2. Soda pops and ades served over ice may be drunk through straws.
3. Root beer may never be served over ice, nor may it be drunk through a straw.
4. Iced tea must never, under any circumstances, be drunk through a straw.
5. Club soda may be sipped through a tiny straw only if presented in a small glass. It must never be drunk through a “normal” straw.
6. Still water must never be drunk through a straw, regardless of the ice factor.
7. Iced tea must be served in a see-through receptacle, preferably made of glass. Again — and I cannot state this strongly enough — do not use a fucking straw when drinking iced tea.
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welcome back, Cindy.
you’ve been missed.
Thank you!. I was out of town for a bit without Internet access, then contracted a virus that is just now letting up. It’s good to feel alive again.
Also, I’m serious about the iced tea.
clearly.
Look. This iced tea business. What the hell is this iced tea business all about in the first place? Iced tea? What the hell is that? Are you people crazy? ICED? TEA?
Small tiny red straws only exist in bars in America. They do not exist over here. Nobody is going to give you a small tiny red straw in your mixed drink over here so just get ready for that. I never know what the hell I’m supposed to be doing with small tiny red straws when people give them to me in the US. Slowly, slowly, I am learning to shout ‘no straw thank you’, ahead of time. Oh right. This is probably on the wrong thread. We have two straw threads going here this weekend. Coop? I’m over here with your answer.
Cold, viscous drinks that are, however, “too thick to suck”* should be approached in whatever fashion gets the job done. Straws, by and large, are useless in these circumstances
* “Too thick to suck”: Circa 1970. Used by Cooper’s and my friend Melanie to characterize a ‘shake’ she had purchased at the Jack-in-the-Box [fast-food restaurant, for our friends outside the US) and attempted to drink by means of a straw.
You can ’bout bust in the back of your head trying to suck a thick shake up a straw.
I’m glad you’re back, Cindy.
The only viscous drink I entertain is gin out of the freezer and I ain’t using no straw on that – NO WAY!
I asked Cindy if there were set requirements for when a person could blow the paper covering off a straw, and she said “What kind of person would make rules about that?”
And then there’s this, about celery straws.
Cindy – sorry for this, but, it passed through my mind. I’m guessing there is no real answer.
If it had to be iced tea through a straw or sucking on a spent ice lolly stick?
I’m sorry, I’ve been drinking, that is an obscene thing to ask and expect an answer.
Phil, you have no shame.
The only straw I remember using as a child was at school. We used to get given 1/3 of a pint of milk each morning, I’m sure that came with a straw.
Having no shame is a very lucky condition of life indeed.
I beat you to it, Phil–I asked “What about wooden straws?” and got the double middle fingers.
I’m sorry, Lucy – I could feel myself going red as I hit submit.
Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather…
Daryl – I found 3000 miles made it easier – she wasn’t squeezing your balls with the other hand was she?
If she had been–I would be making a straw out of a wooden dowel this minute.
I guess she’s not fully up to strength yet following her illness.
I remember being endlessly fascinated as a child with the trick of lifting liquid in a straw by way of a thumb placed over the top–then dumping it in odd places with a mere thumbs-up signal. All sorts of nasty fluids could be handled with impunity, and matters of volume were astonishing as well. I once tried it with a long length of garden hose submerged in a swimming pool–pulled it out with my thumb over the end. It worked! A gathering pond that seemed vaguely sexual, even to a six-year-old.
At that time, likely a thin paper straw, Phil, that softened and flattened on a “draw” before you were finished with the milk. You had to give up, pull out the straw and set your lips to sip from the texturally creepy, waxey, fuzzy, papery lip of the container. Was your container the kind that had a corner “valve” to open or one of those “tented” tops you (lord, this is hard to describe) tore and folded back then popped back out to form a spout? Early on in school, we had the former, then later, the latter. The former were superior in my recollection, I could never get the latter to open properly, I wound up wrongly tearing it, making it a poor pour spout. Often I set my lips on it and had dribblage in one corner or the other. Necessitating napkins.
I don’t remember seeing plastic straws before McDonald’s erupted on the world.
Rick, they were indeed paper straws and they NEVER lasted the whole drink!
Back then, Rick the milk came in bottles – I guess it would have been in the early to mid 60s. Full cream. No doubt it would taste like butter if I were to drink it now.
Y’all are nasty.
I am so glad Cindy’s back. No iced tea in cans. Also about the straws: is anyone else experiencing the weak straw versus the strong cup top which squishes the straw and more often than not slices the wimpy straw? That makes me nuts.
Also Cindy, I generally agree with you and the straws not going with the iced tea- however NYC loves their straws. I’ve been browbeaten into drinking my soda with a straw after years of getting a straw de riguer at the bodegas. And then folks literally grossing out seeing me drink from the lip of a can- regardless of my cleansing of said lip. I am afeared that straws go with everything here.
GAH! open tag! Hopes this workses.
Ah, Phil, bottles! We didn’t have bottles in school. Here in KC, these days, we have Shatto. Can’t say they have third-pints available, but if they did I might be tempted. (I’m not much of a milk drinker anymore. Straw notwithstanding.)
Mary, just give me the names of everyone in NYC, and I’ll set them straight.
Damn, I meant to close that errant tag above.
What the hell? Why won’t it close?
We are in the Land Of The Italics, Where Everything Is Woozy.
are all these comments in italics because I didn’t close mine? They seem to follow on from that – if mine is closed that might fix it!
I’d do it, but, I don’t have authority to amend anything in this thread – I think it may be because I mentioned ice lolly sticks yesterday!
Yeah, my NEVER italics tag needs closing – is there an administrator in the house?
It’s ok everybody! We’re all just in The Land Of Italics now, where everything is woozy and everything is ok if you just you know, chill and take a good look around. Be cool, Phil.
It seems in the land of the italics the troubles just slide off of my shoulders as does responsibility – groovy!
Let this thread forever be in italics
In the Land of Italics, you just sing about Jesus and drink wine all day.
Oh no! It’s over! Somebody kicked us out of the Land Of Italics! It is the fall.
fuck em, we can make our own
Was someone maybe drinking wine through a straw?
We have been given the power – leave off that last tag and we are in italic bliss.
ok, cool… well… hellooooooo? is there anybody theeeeeeeeeere?
see – it’s back, being upright was odd anyway
okay, own up, who fixed it?
No, it’s not back. We have been cast out. It’s duality all the fucking way now, folks.
Fucking GOD, that’s who fixed it.
I only fixed it once! I can unfix it again.
I don’t know about you, but, I don’t want to be watched over. Certainly not when it comes to italic usage.
I think I know the secret. Phil had a close italics tag in his comment, but the slash was *after* the i. word press, apparently, didn’t know how to resolve that.
Well, Phil, we’ll always be able to remember those few brief moments of pure italicisation.
Deron? I think that’s what Adam said.