Comments on: New York’s Bad Manners

By: Mary Jeys

Mary Jeys — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:32:14 +0000

The technique is to make the introduction one-sided:

Oh, how I hate it when that technique doesn’t work. I tried it once with our fair Lucy in the place of your Amanda Mae in the example. It was met with just a “hello” from the mysteriously named acquaintance. Arrrgh!

By: Kelsey Parker

Kelsey Parker — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 23:45:51 +0000

“In the West, however, people do not feel comfortable in a room full of strangers.” Not true of me! And I’m an introducer, like Danny.

By: Danny

Danny — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 22:56:05 +0000

“Whether or not to introduce people therefore becomes not merely a question of propriety, but of consideration for local custom.”

Being of feeble mind and faint memory, I find it quite a practical thing to introduce others. I, more often than not, am at an event with someone I know quite well and suddenly confronted with someone I “know” but cannot “recall”. The technique is to make the introduction one-sided:

“Oh, how lovely to see you! Have you met my dear friend Amanda Mae?” (followed by silence on my part).

The un-remembered party is certain to introduce themselves by name, and I am off the hook for remembering anyone other than my best friends…

…and all Clusterflockers.

By: SC

SC — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 22:08:48 +0000

It’s this sentence that I find impressive:

“To fashionable New York, however, luncheon was at one-thirty; at three there is something else occupying the moment—that is all.”

There’s _a lot_ of ground covered in “that is all” and it’s covered very accurately. It’s absolutely ture that in NY, like almost no where else, people can be lovely, polite, and gracious at, say, lunch and then, whammo!, when the moment has moved on, so do the manners. Several times a week, I’ll be in a meeting where everyone is nearly Southern with politeness and then, once the meeting is over, the same people step on each other toes, avoid eye contact, and fart loudly in the elevator.

By: Sheila Ryan

Sheila Ryan — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:39:55 +0000

Perhaps her introduction in New York to that cad, Mr. Post, whom she divorced in 1905, soured Mrs. Post on New Yorkers. Perhaps she thought back fondly of beaux in her native Baltimore.

See Chapter IV (Salutations of Courtesy), wherein she waxes lyrical on Southern charm.

THE BOW OF A WOMAN OF CHARM. The reputation of Southern women for having the gift of fascination is perhaps due not to prettiness of feature more than to the brilliancy or sweetness of their ready smile. That Southern women are charming and “feminine” and lovable is proverbial. How many have noticed that Southern women always bow with the grace of a flower bending in the breeze and a smile like sudden sunshine? The unlovely woman bows as though her head were on a hinge and her smile sucked through a lemon.

What charm Mrs. Post may have possessed was, alas, of little avail against the cheap allure of the New York chorus girls to whom Mr. Post was drawn.

By: Andrew Simone

Andrew Simone — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:15:20 +0000

“Nearly all people of the Atlantic Coast dislike general introductions, and present people to each other as little as possible.”

I know that snippet is true for me.