August 13, 2009
Flobby slobs FTW!
Half of humanity received some much-needed assistance from an unexpected source last week. Out of the blue, Lion Bar Ice Cream leapt to the aid of men. Like maggots in a wound, they didn’t know they were helping — they thought they were just garnering some desperately needed publicity in an ice cream-unfriendly summer — but they may have contributed to saving the world’s males huge sums of money and an even greater expense of time and effort.
Lion Bar Ice Cream commissioned a survey into what sort of men women find attractive, presumably in the forlorn hope that “a man with his face in a Lion Bar Ice Cream” or “those hunks made ripplingly obese by an ice cream-only diet” would be among the responses.
They didn’t quite get that, but more than 4,000 of the 5,000 respondents claimed to prefer a slightly scruffy fellow, with messy hair and even a beer belly, to the toned, groomed, David Beckham type, although I imagine they wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating a Lion Bar. The media spin on it is that: “Women have turned against the metrosexual look”, presumably because there’s something very unattractive about a chap running after a tube train with a hard-on. [...]
No, the reason this study is good news for malekind is that it’s being taken by the media as a blow to the previous trend, which it had itself created, towards male grooming, exercising and general body-image fretting. The results have been reported as if they contradicted what was formerly thought about women’s taste, as if preening dandies were the established norm of attractiveness and more traditional “manly” attributes a weird fetish.
The whole article is hilarious.
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I’m extra-sensitive — by which I mean, unattracted — to the ultra-groomed metrosexual. But this doesn’t mean I fawn over anyone obese!
[...] not just in the UK, turns out the NYT also says it’s cool to have a gut: THIS summer the unvarying male uniform [...]