October 12, 2009

dear clusterflock

If humans had evolved from wolves.

comments

  1. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 10:59 am

    We’d look more like Hugh Jackman.

  2. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:00 am

    penis bones.

  3. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:02 am

    Amy could wear the goat coat herself.

  4. Andrew Simone on October 12th, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Amy could then eat a goat herself.

  5. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:07 am

    that embarrassing coital locking thing.

  6. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:08 am

    ball licking.

  7. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Embarrassing, Deron? You’ve been in a balloon with a pigeon again, haven’t you?

  8. Andrew Simone on October 12th, 2009 at 11:11 am

    In fact, I know just the place to acquire said goat.

  9. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Let’s ask Dave. He’ll know!

  10. Andrew Simone on October 12th, 2009 at 11:12 am

    Good call, Cindy!

  11. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:16 am

    fleas.

  12. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:16 am

    anal glands!

  13. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:17 am

    twelve (?) teats.

  14. Sheila Ryan on October 12th, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Somebody says we didn’t?

  15. Daryl Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:32 am

    Harvey Keitel

  16. Michael Smith on October 12th, 2009 at 11:33 am

    We wouldn’t call it “doggy style” anymore.

  17. Brian Beatty on October 12th, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Canine-r canine teeth.

  18. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Sarah Palin would shoot at us from an airplane.

  19. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:45 am

    I’d have a whole different view of squirrels.

  20. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Wonder if we’d be more prone to lupus?

  21. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:46 am

    There goes the Marfa plan.

  22. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Greenland real estate would skyrocket.

  23. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:54 am

    litters.

  24. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:54 am

    runts.

  25. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 11:54 am

    mange.

  26. Sheila Ryan on October 12th, 2009 at 11:56 am

    You mean Sarah Palin might cull you and me, Cindy?

    Dang. I’ll think twice next time I’m near to choosing the lamb kebabs.

  27. Deron Bauman on October 12th, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    barf eating.

  28. Sheila Ryan on October 12th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Carcass-rolling.

  29. Lucy Foley on October 12th, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    More of us would eat our young and not get prosecuted for it.

  30. Rick Neece on October 12th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
  31. Brian Beatty on October 12th, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    We could shit whenever and wherever the mood struck.

  32. Lucy Foley on October 12th, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Some of us would eat our own poo, also. There would be ‘types’. No one would be ashamed of it. Some of us would eat other people’s poo, openly in the street. No one would bat a fucking eye.

  33. Kelsey Parker on October 12th, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Our descendants would become the lapdogs of some other biped.

  34. Sheila Ryan on October 12th, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    Now, would we be canine quadrupeds or lycanthropic bipeds? It might make a difference.

  35. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    Lycanthropic bidpeds, absolutely. Otherwise, I’m not playing anymore.

  36. Lucy Foley on October 12th, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    We will still eat our own poo and young, mark my words.

  37. Kelsey Parker on October 12th, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    And either way, we’ll be born blind.

  38. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Well, of course we will eat our own poo and young. We’ll just do it in a dining room.

  39. Sheila Ryan on October 12th, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    And we will wear trousers and skirts with openings for our tails.

  40. Cindy Scroggins on October 12th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    I knew you would understand, Sheila.

  41. Dave Vogt on October 13th, 2009 at 11:40 am

    digitgrade feet.

    That “coital locking thing” is referred to as “tying.” It is a result of the swelling of the bulbus glandis (or “knot”) swelling at the time of ejaculation. Important because dog semen is very watery and the sperm need a few minutes (fifteen to sixty, with some variation by breed) to set up and get started on that long hike.