November 12, 2009
An update
I took Greta to the vet on October 28th after posting my question of “When do you know it’s time to put your pet to sleep?” to this site. The vet found a cyst on her foot and believed that was the cause of her limping and general malaise. I disagreed but went along with it because I was too exhausted to demand a full x-ray like I wanted and too scared to admit my own fears. The cyst was removed and Greta was giving two week’s worth of anti-inflammatory medication.
She continued to limp around but ate on a semi-regular basis and wagged her tail when the family loved on her. But she wasn’t herself.
Yesterday, I took her back to the vet and demanded the x-ray that I knew she needed all along. I was convinced she had arthritis.
It was bone cancer.
It was present in her shoulder and her jaw and who knows where else. Prednisone was offered as a short term pain solution but they gave her about one to two months of survival at the most.
After much internal debating, I decided to put her to sleep.
After I got home and collected myself, I got online and re-read all the comments to my earlier post. You have no idea how much your kind (and rational) words helped me.
Greta was a fantastic black lab. We were together for over 11 years. She traveled across the country with me twice, helped me through a divorce and was sitting by my feet when my husband and step-son asked me to marry them last year. I miss her.
Thank you again for your kind words and insight.
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Thank you for posting this. Our oldest was diagnosed with arthritis two days ago. Its onset has been sudden. He has trouble sitting and standing now. We may be faced with a similar choice at some point. You have handled the situation, and written about it, beautifully.
Yikes, I’ve had my Frenchie for 5 years and can’t imagine losing him. He’s integral in our family as well. My condolences.
I’m so sorry, but glad that you found our observations useful.
Take good care of yourself for the next little while.
Thank you so much for letting us know about Greta, and about you. You were lucky to have had each other for 11 years.
I know it must hurt, and I’m so sorry for you and your family, but you did right by Greta.
Thinking of you.
A very painful decision, but the right one, as Sheila says. I’m sorry.
I am so sorry. My husband and I have lost many wonderful canine friends over the years. The last one was so painful we can’t bring ourselves to get another.
I guess all we can do for our pets is do right by them when the time comes. They give us everything and ask for nothing – well food! I think their unconditional love is what gets us, they give us so much!
I have had the ashes of Bat the cat and Katie the dog under the bed (in boxes) for over 10 years. I have no idea what to do with them – perhaps they are in the right place, close.
My beloved Tar died about a month and a half ago, it was an emergency in the middle of the night situation, and he did not recover from it. It was like a Jewish funeral: I dug his grave the following afternoon, and we buried him before sunset. We had a lovely funeral. Felix the cat howled like a Sicilian widow and he was buried with some of his favourite things, covered in rose petals and put to rest. We have solar lights on his grave, and last week I planted some tulip and daffodil bulbs there for the spring. His dying was a wretched event, but it was also sublime. I am so glad I got to know him and love him so much.
I saw when you posted the first time about this topic, and it was so soon after Tar, it was hard to respond. I think it is a good thing that you had time to absorb the information about Greta’s health, and sense deeply what you needed to do. It does not always happen that way. I was very moved by Daryl’s description of the dalmation, of giving him the relief and then the euthanasia immediately afterward. That made me cry. It was very soon after Tar died. Tar did not get that relief. That is just how it is, sometimes. He was a fierce and loving dog. A great dog.
Tar’s litter sister, Karla, has just gotten some terrible test results this week, and her owner will put her to sleep over the next few days. I know that will be very hard for her owner, who is a good friend of ours. We are a kind of extended family for Karla, so it is a sad thing for us too. The beauty of caring for animals is that we have the option to put them to sleep when they are in great difficulty. We have not extended this basic decency to our own species of animal.
I don’t know you, but my family went through the same difficult decision about 2 months ago. I still feel really lost without my best friend. I moved out of my parents’ house around the time we put Harpie to sleep and whenever I go home, I still look for her wagging her tail and barking out the big bay window or chasing the neighborhood kids around the yard to plant big wet kisses on their cheeks. I expect to find tiny clumps of hair and paw prints here and there. I should be grateful that she ever came along at all, that my parents let us get that puppy we had been begging for, that we had 8 fun, hilarious, surprising, eye-opening years with a dog who was endlessly affectionate and intuitive, more selfless, kind, and unconditionally loving than many humans I know, but I can’t help thinking we were cheated.
Letting her go was extremely painful and distressing, especially since she was the one who would cheer me up when the going got rough, but I know we did what was best for her. As strong as she was, it was clear that she was in pain and not getting better. I hope you find comfort in recognizing that you did the right thing. It’s never easy, but you owed Greta the best and you came through for her. Wishing you and your family comfort as you cope with this difficult loss.
Living and falling in love with a dog is always peculiar because of the fact that we actually know we are going to outlive them. Maybe they are also aware in a way and that’s the reason they give so much. I truly send out my love to you and everyone who got to love her.