November 29, 2009
Holiday Jewelry Commercials in Need of New Copy
Diamond Dick opens the little box; she shows the weakness he likes and reaches for him, leading with the puppies he bought for her last year–and the recession is over.
Captions?
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This year Adam goes for the adamantine approach, but Eve’s serpentine ways soften his resolve. On hands and knees he follows her as she crawls on her belly like a reptile when — PFFFT! — Adam and Eve are electrocuted in the Playboy Mansion.
Different scenario, really. Still needs a caption.
Suggested sound track for he-she-rock-prosperity scenario: T-Bone Burnett’s mordant version of “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”.
We all lose our charm in the end.
Hard-ons are forever.
Give her the carrot (sic) she really wants.