December 1, 2009
Dear Clusterflock
Would you rather have a lingering cold or get hit once with a hammer?
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comments:
- Deron Bauman: It’s a start.
- Joel Bernstein: The first of many things, no doubt.
- Deron Bauman: I’ll pick him up at eight. He may not like the way I smell.
- Michael Smith: Joel’s Dream Date: Phantom Menace; Cat urine cologne; Deron.
- Joel Bernstein: For the record, if you pay to see this, you are no longer my friend.
- Deron Bauman: Meow.
- Joel Bernstein: This must be why I fuck so many cats.
- Michael Smith: Seems to me the experiment almost does itself.
- Casey Cichowicz: No. It is not possible. I can assure you.
- Joel Bernstein: Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes?
- LaurenH: I’m with those who say get that girl out of that household. The father has now very effectively...
- Rick Neece: Holee sh..!
- Rick Neece: Asian calligraphy, ‘cept instead of a brush, hot glass. The image of her controlling the glass and...
- Rick Neece: For the gull-wing, I’m sure it would knock me in the chin every time I opened it.
- Marco: Oh god yes.
Do I get to choose where the hammer strikes? If not, lingering cold.
I am an all-or-nothing guy, generally speaking.
Goddammit. A hammer strike to the hand, no damage–just pain.
Although I’ll tell you right now that I’d take the hammer strike to the forehead, if that would get me out of this cold.
Hammer strike. Definitely.
Oh…no damage just pain? Hammer strike. I’ll even let Cindy deliver the blow.
Okay, I’m starting to feel better. Thank you.
The thought of hitting me with a hammer often gives people a sense of joy.
Actually, I don’t like the thought of hitting you with a hammer, Michael. I’m just glad I’m not alone in my feeling that defined pain is better than general misery.
But, you know, if you really want me to be the one to hit you, I’ll do. That’s just the kind of girl I am.
I would like to be struck once, delicately and precisely (with a hammer), in such a spot on my cranium and at such an angle as to produce an evocative chord that lingered and lingered till concluding with what you might call a dying fall.
A lingering cold introduces snot and phlegm into the scenario and is not at all pleasant.
Okay, I’ll see what I can do.
I’ll take the damage and pain of a hammer to any part of my body — apart from my head — before a lingering cold. Life goes on when I mangle parts of myself, but incessant mucus suffocates even the most mundane tasks.
I’ll be the lone voice for the lingering cold, I guess. I like all of my parts too much for the risk of the hammer. And I like the sleep I get when I’m sick too.
Off hand, I’d say hammer strike, but think about it. Hammer strikes can and will break bones. A cold can last for weeks. I don’t know about a hammer strike in the happy sacks.
I sometimes fantasize about taking off my forehead and vacuuming the whole area.
Lingering is preferred; having bad allergies already I’m used to that sort of thing, and don’t like being laid up in bed.
I’d like to say hammer strike, but, I’m really not very brave! Can I say hammer strike just so long as I don’t know it will happen – I mean, can we forget this conversation happened?
God, I’m having a bit of a panic now!
Hammer strike delivered by a lone assailant in the dead of night, eh, Phil?
Jonathan McNicol: Lone Voice for the Lingering Cold.
I’m sorry, Phil. I take it all back.
Ooo, it’s like my superhero name! Or my radio persona!
Phil, LOOK OUT!
I’m sat facing the door – I will see the hammer blow coming for me!
It takes a heap o’ gumption for a feller to step away from the crowd and declare himself the Lone Voice of the Lingering Cold.
Phil, that is just going to agitate you. Better to drop onto all fours, lower your head, and shuffle into the chute, lowing.
You’ll never know what hit you.
I expect others will step onto Jonathan’s side, now that he has had the courage to speak out.
Oh, for pete’s sake. Phil, give me your hand. There. See? It was nothing.
I suffer mostly from sinusitis and allergies, but what I call a sinus meltdown closely approximates a cold. By which I mean to say, Cindy, you have my deepest sympathy! I’ve broken bones–it’s preferable.
Sheila, when you speak of The Chute my mind can only think of the Pee Chute!
Cindy, you are right it was nothing – thank you.
Thank you, Coop. I tend to be a stoic when it comes to enduring pain, but I’m a baby-and-a-half when it comes to colds. Except that I do like the part when you blow your nose and more stuff comes out than you expect and it’s the dark stuff. That part is satisfying, rather like a good poop.
Cindy, I’m with you – when it comes out like a bullet I smile! and it feels so damn good!
Whenever there’s a choice, I choose to get hammered.
Let’s ask Chigura. He would probably want you to flip for it.
“Whenever there’s a choice, I choose to get hammered.”
What we say here at home: alcohol does not cure anything; you just don’t care so much about being all screwed up.
When I get a cold I hop around cursing and screaming.
You know.
Like I was hit with a hammer.